Evening at Walia House
Jai arrived early in the evening, alongside Karuna, Tarun, Nachiket and his Massi, who set about overlooking the arrangement for the evening party. Earlier Bani had always held the responsibility and everything had gone with precision under her guidance and expertise. While arranging some flowers in the Vase, Karuna looked at Jai, who was sending some email on his blackberry, looking extremely preoccupied as usual. ‘Bhaiyya…don’t you think you should be here tonight…’
Jai looked up with his clear, somber eyes, which always made Karuna and Nachiket fidget till date. They had always been in terrible awe of their eldest brother, more so than their own father and every word uttered by Jai was law upon them. Jai had to just give them a look, which would silence them completely, yet he was a father figure to both of them and they knew that he would happily give up his life for them, if he had to.
‘Bani is expecting me at her parent’s house…I had called up to say that I would be there yesterday, but couldn’t go, because of the Arcoda’s MD coming in…and anyway, it wouldn’t be right for me to attend Nachiket’s marriage function without my wife…you all are there…I am sure you will manage fine.’
Karuna smiled warmly at her brother and finishing the arrangement, said in a soft voice, ‘You love are so much, don’t you?’
Jai flushed just a little bit and waved her off by saying, ‘The rose stems are too long, cut them up half an inch more…and arrange them inside the circle of Gerberas…’
Karuna started laughing and said, ‘You answered my questioned, Bhaiyya…because that is how Bhabhi always made the flower arrangement…and you remembered it so well…obviously you love her to death!’
‘Oh shut up!’ Jai remarked between half laughter and half annoyance and walked out of the living room saying that he had to pack his overnighter for his trip to Mount Abu.
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The room was plunged in darkness and just as his hands went near the switchboard, he realized someone was lying on the bed and even with limited vision, he could immediately make out the silhouette.
‘Bani…’ his voice came out muted and stunned. She stirred in her sleep and fumbled with the side-lamp, till she found the switch and one part of the room illuminated brightly.
Jai took in her disheveled hair and sleep filled eyes for a long time, staring at her uninterrupted. Blushing deeply, she hastily tidied her hair and smoothed the crumpled cotton sari she had on.
‘Papa dropped me home…he had to leave immediately…had some urgent work in Mount Abu…’ words flowed in a hasty, awkward manner and then she added with a little bit more calm, ‘he said to pass on his greetings to you.’
There was no reaction from Jai apart from the fact that he was still staring at Bani and she felt extremely discomforted at the silence that hung between them…reminding her of 5 years back when she had been a newly married girl and had to face many such speechless moments with her husband, plunging them both in awkwardness.
Hesitating a bit, Bani lifted her lowered head and looked at him…Jai seemed to have aged in the last few months, or was it just her imagination. Possibly she had in some part of her heart wanted him to wither in their separation as much as she had and then felt guilty on such a thought. It was not as if she had spent the last few months apart from Jai mourning on her fate…of course she had been sad and lonely, but not heartbreakingly so. Then why should it be any different for Jai…with the added advantage of being a man, who did not have to answer to any of society’s pressures on either leaving his wife or his wife leaving him. Bani in both cases was damned for good.
‘I…I didn’t want to disturb the party…that is why I stayed here…didn’t expect you…did Bhavesh tell you?’ her voice was trembling and uneven, as she stood there fidgeting with her toes, wondering how Jai came to this room, as it was clear that he was quite surprised to see her, meaning that Bhavesh hadn’t said anything about her arrival.
‘No. This is my room…I came in to pack my overnighter…to leave for Mount Abu.’ He said it simply, but the effect on Bani was profound. She looked at him with her large, limpid eyes and muttered, ‘Mount Abu…to get me here?’ Jai did not reply to this but kept looking at her, as if still in some sort of a dream. Finding her voice again, she said in a confused manner, ‘Why are you staying in the guest room instead of our room?’
Jai had relaxed by now, but still held the serious, far away expression on his face and struggling to loosen his tie, as he always did, answered dispassionately, ‘For the same reason that you chose to come back and sleep in this room instead of our room.’
Going red from embarrassment and feeling a surge of guilt, she clenched and unclenched her wrists and in a sudden bout of impulse, went towards him and wrenching his hands off his neck, loosened the tie for him, half expecting Jai to react, but he kept standing quietly.
Standing so close to her husband, Bani felt a familiar assuage of feelings overpower her…and she trembled inwardly to keep a control over them. Hurt she was…the manner in which Jai had unceremoniously told her to go out of his house still rankled in her mind and even though she knew the thought behind his actions, her heart still ached at the humiliation and grief that he had bestowed upon her, even with the best of intentions.
Yes, she had come back to her husband’s home, out of her own will, without even a word of reconciliation from him, apart from the fact her mother had told her. Nachiket’s wedding. That was the main reason why Jai had been compelled to take the first step and call her back…and once it was over, their original strife would come up again.
In spite of this, Bani still longed to touch Jai, to hold him, to feel the warm and comfort of his arms around her body, to feel his eyes linger on her face with love that filled every inch of her being, to forget every past sorrow and wound and just lie with her face on his chest and cry to her heart’s content, telling him how much she had missed him in all these months.
But self-respect was too big a thing to be compromised for…even if the deal was with love. And besides, there was a big doubt in the love part too…hadn’t he chosen the easier way to free himself of her misery when she had needed him the most, instead of helping her cope their common misfortune…try as she much, Bani could not see reason in Jai’s decision which had drawn them apart.
‘I…I will get changed for the evening…’ she was about to add, ‘If you want me to....’ but kept quiet, thinking it best not to spoil anyone’s mood for the evening, especially not Jai’s. If nothing else, at least it was clear to Bani that Jai had decided to skip a family function for her sake, only so that he could drive down to Mount Abu and get her back.
Just as she was about to go out of the door, Jai caught her upper arm, gently but unyielding. Bani felt her breath lodge in her throat and color filling in her cheeks well down to her neck in a matter of seconds.
‘Won’t you ask me how I have been doing all these months without you?’ There was such incredible softness and sincerity in his voice, that in spite of her best efforts to appear aloof and calm, Bani felt her knees weaken and her eyes clouded. Standing still besides him, inhaling the slightly woodsy fragrance that Jai always carried with him, she bit her lips to steady herself and not shake like an autumn leaf.
‘How are you?’ her voice came out low and soft as a petal, but carrying immense emotion in it.
He loosened the grip on her arm and turned to face her. Bani barely reached his shoulders in height and hence had her head lowered to his chest, eyes closed. Putting his fingers on her chin, he lifted her face to his and lowered himself to kiss her.
Just then there was a polite knocking on their door, Bani moved back in reflex action, sweat breaking on her flushed face. Sighing in barely concealed irritation, Jai went and opened the door, ready to shout if it was Bhavesh or any of the other servants.
‘Bhaiyya…I was just thinking....’ Karuna stopped mid-sentence when she looked at Bani standing behind Jai and all but yelped, ’Bhabhi? I can’t believe my eyes…and when did you come back? No one told me…Bhaiyya, did you know about Bhabhi coming back…was this supposed to be a surprise.’
Without waiting for any reply from a stunned Jai and Bani, she leapt inside the room and enveloped Bani in a tight hug, speaking continuously while not letting her go. ‘We missed you so much…everyone is going to be so excited…wait till I tell Nachiket…he was getting so depressed that neither you nor Bhaiyya would be there for tonight’s party. Gosh, what a lovely surprise.’
Jai muttered something and excusing himself, left the room for his study, while Karuna kept talking relentlessly. ‘Please, please, please promise me you are not leaving my brother alone again…not leaving any of us, in fact. I missed you so much, Bhabhi.’ Karuna, being the emotional creature that she was, did not take more than a few seconds to start crying and in the process made Bani cry to, more out of the confusion in her mind than any real grief. She had so wanted something to happen between her and Jai…anything that would have eased the self-consciousness between them and now she had to wait till it was night, when they would be alone.
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The rest of the evening was a blur to Bani as Karuna insisted on getting her dressed since it would be the first time she would be meeting Nachiket’s fiancée and in-law’s and that everyone was dying to see the eldest daughter-in-law of Walia Family. Massi, Nachiket and little Anu joined in and made sure that by the time, Nachiket’s in-law’s came in, she did not even have a chance to look at Jai, leave aside talking to him. She did not know whether that fact relieved her more or caused her anxiety.
Draped in a silk bandini sari in a brilliant shade of indigo and magenta, setting off her olive complexion to perfection, she tied her long hair in a thick coil at the nape of her neck, looking here and there for something to pin it up. And then remembered that all her personal stuff was either still packed or in the master bedroom that she shared with Jai.
Just then, Jai walked in, almost making Bani let go of her hair with distraction. He looked extremely severe yet handsome in a dark, brooding kind of way, dressed in a formal double cuffed white shirt and black trousers, his still wet hair combed back and curling at the ends, as they always did when damp. He looked at her reflection for some time in the mirror, taking in her unquestioned natural beauty, even when not fully adorned and then tearing his eyes off with an apparent display of detachment, handed over a bejeweled hair pin to her.
‘Thanks…’ she mumbled, feeling anomalous at the formality and distance between them. Out of the blue, she remembered the many times, when Jai had come barging into their bedroom while she was in the midst of dressing up before going out somewhere and the teasing and flirtation that used to follow, leading to them always being either late or just cancelling out. She had always taken extra effort to dress up and look good, never to impress upon strangers, but always hoping to catch the look of smitten love in Jai’s eyes when he looked at her. Bani had always been a beauty, ever since her childhood, pampered and adored by her parent’s and siblings, envied yet admired by her peers and longed for desperately, sometimes with ferocious passion by men who happened to know her…but she had never held her physical attributes with anything more than a callous disregard. Only till she happened to see herself in the eyes of her husband…like when he used to catch her unawares, gazing at her sleepy face early in the morning…devouring in her languorous beauty…or smiling fondly at her when she came out of a bath, minty fresh and glowing…or the look in his eyes, when perspiration soaked her smooth skin when they made love passionately…she felt truly beautiful only in his presence, only when she saw it reflected in his eyes.
Without Jai’s presence in her life, Bani felt like a river without water in it…like body without soul in it…like a lamp without light in it…complete as an object, but utterly incomplete as a whole.
Coming back to the present with a jerk on hearing Karuna’s cheerful voice that the guests had arrived, she hastily set about pinning her hair and putting some jewellery on. Just as Jai was about to go out of the room, he saw her fumbling her bags, looking fraught.
‘Are you missing something?’ he asked with concern.
Still distracted, she replied back without looking at him, ‘My sindoor box…I can’t find it…I kept it in the toiletry case…can’t see it now…’
‘Its okay Bani, no one will notice…now lets go out…the guests have arrived.’
She looked at him, her face still so innocent and guileless that it always stuck Jai how she looked just as she had a few years back. ‘I never go anywhere without putting on my sindoor.’ It was not an obstinate statement, just so matter of fact, like saying that she can’t live without air. He stared at her for sometime, feeling exasperated yet trying to reign in any show of anger or even irritation…the wound between them was till too raw, any poke, even if accidental would only aggravate the situation.
‘I will get it from the Pooja room…stay here.’ Bani stood waiting still, when Jai came back with a small ivory box and opened it, revealing the dark crimson powder, smelling of incense and camphor. She took it with trembling fingers and without any word between them, kept looking at him.
Jai quietly took some of the vermillion and put it the partition between her forehead, the way she always put it, slightly towards the upper-forehead. Bani had a deep urge to burst out crying and as if on cue, Karuna came bounding in again and urged them both to come out, as everyone was constantly asking for Jai and his unseen wife.
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Bani felt quite out of sorts when she came out to the living hall along with Jai, where Nachiket’s fiancée, Purva along with her family had come over. Jai greeted everyone cordially and met all of them one by one, while Bani stood behind him, feeling incredibly shy and awkward.
All eyes were on her, since no body from Purva’s family had met her before and it was only when Nachiket’s pert and sweet looking fiancée came towards Bani, greeting her with a warm smile, did she ease a bit.
The evening went on pretty much uneventful, with a lot of laughter and bonhomie flowing between both the families. Purva’s grandmother took an instant fancy to Bani’s traditional looks and all of a sudden between dinner said, ‘Purva, you are going to be in big trouble now.’
Everyone looked towards the elderly lady who smiled and continued, ‘With such a beautiful sister-in-law, there is got to be some jealousy on my Purva’s part, isn’t it? Jai beta, you are really very fortunate to have such a wonderful wife.’
Jai stopped eating and putting his fork back in the plate, looked towards Bani in a queer sort of way and without any trace of irony in his voice said, ‘Yes, I am a very lucky man to have Bani as my wife.’
Everyone grinned from ear to ear and Bani all but dug her face in the plate out of shyness and embarrassment. She half wondered if Jai was being sarcastic or did he really mean those words and then felt miserable on the way her mind was functioning, doubting the one person who had given so much love and loyalty to her selflessly.
Purva touched Jai and Bani’s feet before taking leave and they in turn touched Purva’s grandmother’s feet. The evening ended on a perfect note, but the moment all the guests went, there was a tension in the air, as Bani realized that she would be alone with Jai. She could not understand why was she feeling so nervous and fidgety about that fact…hadn’t she come back on her own. Why was she feeling like a stranger in her own house?
It was past midnight when Karuna, Tarun, Nachiket and Massi left, each of them hoping that Jai and Bani would reconcile their differences and be together again. Karuna had wanted to speak with Bani but Tarun told her not to and let the husband and wife sort out their problems on their own first.
Bani had looked for Jai’s night clothes in the guest room wardrobe but wasn’t able to locate it and just as she was about to go to their bedroom and fetch them, Jai came in, still dressed in the evening clothes, his handsomeness accentuated somewhat more by the look of fatigue and seriousness on his face.
They both stood in silence for sometime, each wondering who would take the first step…actually Jai had already done that some time ago, before being interrupted by Karuna and the look he gave to Bani, clearly said that he was hoping for her to say something now. Clamming up at the silence and expectation in his eyes, she ran a nervous hand through her hair and managed to say, ‘I…your night clothes are in the bedroom…I will get them.’
‘That is all you have to say after 5 months of separation, Bani?’ His voice sounded neither angry, not hurt, just plain bewildered. As if he couldn’t believe that Bani could be making such mundane conversation when there was so much to be said and heard between them.
Feeling even more in loss of her emotions, she muttered, ‘I am tired…I..I will go to the bedroom and sleep…good night.’ Saying that she all but ran out of the room and Jai kept standing there in thoughtful silence.
Sleep proved elusive to both of them, Bani kept tossing and turning in the bed, suddenly regretting running away from Jai in this manner and somehow coming back to their bedroom seemed to rekindle the past 5 years of their marriages in front of her eyes. She did not know what to say to him or how to behave in front of him. It was not because of the separation, but the manner in which they had to part ways that refused to let her heart open fully to him. There was no lack of love, there had never been, but now there was fear in her…the fear of being rejected, the fear of being cast aside again and the fear of being thrown apart completely from Jai.
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Bani could only manage to get some sleep in the early hours of the morning and hence was alarmed to see that it was past eight in the morning when her sleep broke. Quickly freshening herself up, she rushed downstairs and was relieved to see that Jai had not yet left for Office, he was sitting at the breakfast table, being served by Bhavesh.
He looked at her for a moment and disappeared behind the newspaper once again and even when Bani wished him a very prim and proper good morning, he just nodded in reply.
Sitting down besides him, Bani endeavored to make small talk, avoiding anything that had to do with them. ‘Purva is a very sweet girl…her family is also very nice…I think Nachiket and she are well-suited to one another.’ Getting no reply from Jai, she prodded on in a low voice, ‘Is the marriage date fixed?’
’17 November.’ Came the staccato reply from Jai, who kept reading the paper, not paying any attention to Bani.
Suddenly infuriated by Jai’s coldness and hurt by the fact that he had not even felt an inch of regret for having packed her off unceremoniously to her parent’s home, she blurted out, in anger and tears, ‘You could have at least said that you were sorry for telling me to go out of your home…would a simple apology have hurt your ego that much?’
Jai did not react in the anticipated manner to the outburst and just folding the paper neatly, looked up at her flushed and crying face and replied calmly, ‘Apologized for what, Bani? I still stand by my decision and hence feel no need to offer any apologies. And anyway, I never make decisions for which I have to feel sorry later on. I hope that explains my stand to you clearly.’
Saying that he walked off the room, leaving Bani stunned at his behavior. She had put aside everything else and came back to him, only because he wanted her back, not even listening to her parent’s and here Jai was telling her that he still stood by her decision. So it was clear now, her presence was merely decorative, needed till an important Walia Family wedding took place and then she could go to hell, or at least that was what Jai had indicated.
Feeling utterly dejected and heartbroken, she rushed back to the bedroom and laid down on the bed, crying heavily. Confused on her own behavior and lack of any familiar warmth or welcome from Jai completely befuddled her senses and all the control and restrain she has mastered before coming to Mumbai came falling apart.
It would have been less than ten minutes later that the bedroom door opened and Bani lifted her tear-strained face to look at Jai, who was staring at her, standing near the door. Immediately getting up, she wiped her face, looking like a badly reprimanded school girl and got out of the bed, assuming that Jai had come to take out his Office clothes.
Mumbling incoherently under her breath that she will see if his lunch was packed, Bani was completely taken unawares, when Jai wrenched her right hand and pulled her fiercely towards him, making her fall down on his chest.
Before she could react, he said in a desperate voice, ‘After 5 long months of being away, all you want to hear from me is a Sorry? Not that I missed you day and night…not that I didn’t stop thinking about you for even a moment…not that I longed for you with a maddening passion…not that I felt like killing myself for pulling you away from me? God Bani, you are such an impossible creature.’
She kept staring at him with shocked eyes, still not comprehending what had come over Jai, till he gathered her with all his force in his arms and kissed her with violent passion, almost knocking them both on the bed.
Bani could barely come out of her shock at the sudden turn of Jai’s behaviour, that a polite but loud knock landed on their bedroom door. With a murderous expression, Jai disentangled himself from his wife and opened the door roughly to face a completely mortified looking Karuna who wondered why she always ended up knocking on her brother’s door whenever he was with his wife.
‘What is it now?’ Jai asked rudely, leaving all pretence of any civility.
‘Er…Um…Actually Tauji and his family have just landed from Chandigarh…for the wedding…remember I had told you two days back…I have put them in the guest rooms below…one of them is occupied by Bhabhi and you…so your luggage will have to be removed…’
Jai kept staring with a thunder-raked expression, completely irritated and at the tether end of his patience.
Karuna gave a sheepish look at Bani who still sat in a numbed, bewildered manner as if she just couldn’t understand what was happening around her and said, ‘Bhabhi, will you come and help me remove the luggage and put it back in your bedroom…and also Tauji and the others want to see both of you.’
Saying that Karuna barely managed to hide her grin at the look on Jai’s face and taking Bani by her hands left him standing, fuming and exasperated beyond control.
To be continued and wrapped off in Part C
Jai arrived early in the evening, alongside Karuna, Tarun, Nachiket and his Massi, who set about overlooking the arrangement for the evening party. Earlier Bani had always held the responsibility and everything had gone with precision under her guidance and expertise. While arranging some flowers in the Vase, Karuna looked at Jai, who was sending some email on his blackberry, looking extremely preoccupied as usual. ‘Bhaiyya…don’t you think you should be here tonight…’
Jai looked up with his clear, somber eyes, which always made Karuna and Nachiket fidget till date. They had always been in terrible awe of their eldest brother, more so than their own father and every word uttered by Jai was law upon them. Jai had to just give them a look, which would silence them completely, yet he was a father figure to both of them and they knew that he would happily give up his life for them, if he had to.
‘Bani is expecting me at her parent’s house…I had called up to say that I would be there yesterday, but couldn’t go, because of the Arcoda’s MD coming in…and anyway, it wouldn’t be right for me to attend Nachiket’s marriage function without my wife…you all are there…I am sure you will manage fine.’
Karuna smiled warmly at her brother and finishing the arrangement, said in a soft voice, ‘You love are so much, don’t you?’
Jai flushed just a little bit and waved her off by saying, ‘The rose stems are too long, cut them up half an inch more…and arrange them inside the circle of Gerberas…’
Karuna started laughing and said, ‘You answered my questioned, Bhaiyya…because that is how Bhabhi always made the flower arrangement…and you remembered it so well…obviously you love her to death!’
‘Oh shut up!’ Jai remarked between half laughter and half annoyance and walked out of the living room saying that he had to pack his overnighter for his trip to Mount Abu.
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The room was plunged in darkness and just as his hands went near the switchboard, he realized someone was lying on the bed and even with limited vision, he could immediately make out the silhouette.
‘Bani…’ his voice came out muted and stunned. She stirred in her sleep and fumbled with the side-lamp, till she found the switch and one part of the room illuminated brightly.
Jai took in her disheveled hair and sleep filled eyes for a long time, staring at her uninterrupted. Blushing deeply, she hastily tidied her hair and smoothed the crumpled cotton sari she had on.
‘Papa dropped me home…he had to leave immediately…had some urgent work in Mount Abu…’ words flowed in a hasty, awkward manner and then she added with a little bit more calm, ‘he said to pass on his greetings to you.’
There was no reaction from Jai apart from the fact that he was still staring at Bani and she felt extremely discomforted at the silence that hung between them…reminding her of 5 years back when she had been a newly married girl and had to face many such speechless moments with her husband, plunging them both in awkwardness.
Hesitating a bit, Bani lifted her lowered head and looked at him…Jai seemed to have aged in the last few months, or was it just her imagination. Possibly she had in some part of her heart wanted him to wither in their separation as much as she had and then felt guilty on such a thought. It was not as if she had spent the last few months apart from Jai mourning on her fate…of course she had been sad and lonely, but not heartbreakingly so. Then why should it be any different for Jai…with the added advantage of being a man, who did not have to answer to any of society’s pressures on either leaving his wife or his wife leaving him. Bani in both cases was damned for good.
‘I…I didn’t want to disturb the party…that is why I stayed here…didn’t expect you…did Bhavesh tell you?’ her voice was trembling and uneven, as she stood there fidgeting with her toes, wondering how Jai came to this room, as it was clear that he was quite surprised to see her, meaning that Bhavesh hadn’t said anything about her arrival.
‘No. This is my room…I came in to pack my overnighter…to leave for Mount Abu.’ He said it simply, but the effect on Bani was profound. She looked at him with her large, limpid eyes and muttered, ‘Mount Abu…to get me here?’ Jai did not reply to this but kept looking at her, as if still in some sort of a dream. Finding her voice again, she said in a confused manner, ‘Why are you staying in the guest room instead of our room?’
Jai had relaxed by now, but still held the serious, far away expression on his face and struggling to loosen his tie, as he always did, answered dispassionately, ‘For the same reason that you chose to come back and sleep in this room instead of our room.’
Going red from embarrassment and feeling a surge of guilt, she clenched and unclenched her wrists and in a sudden bout of impulse, went towards him and wrenching his hands off his neck, loosened the tie for him, half expecting Jai to react, but he kept standing quietly.
Standing so close to her husband, Bani felt a familiar assuage of feelings overpower her…and she trembled inwardly to keep a control over them. Hurt she was…the manner in which Jai had unceremoniously told her to go out of his house still rankled in her mind and even though she knew the thought behind his actions, her heart still ached at the humiliation and grief that he had bestowed upon her, even with the best of intentions.
Yes, she had come back to her husband’s home, out of her own will, without even a word of reconciliation from him, apart from the fact her mother had told her. Nachiket’s wedding. That was the main reason why Jai had been compelled to take the first step and call her back…and once it was over, their original strife would come up again.
In spite of this, Bani still longed to touch Jai, to hold him, to feel the warm and comfort of his arms around her body, to feel his eyes linger on her face with love that filled every inch of her being, to forget every past sorrow and wound and just lie with her face on his chest and cry to her heart’s content, telling him how much she had missed him in all these months.
But self-respect was too big a thing to be compromised for…even if the deal was with love. And besides, there was a big doubt in the love part too…hadn’t he chosen the easier way to free himself of her misery when she had needed him the most, instead of helping her cope their common misfortune…try as she much, Bani could not see reason in Jai’s decision which had drawn them apart.
‘I…I will get changed for the evening…’ she was about to add, ‘If you want me to....’ but kept quiet, thinking it best not to spoil anyone’s mood for the evening, especially not Jai’s. If nothing else, at least it was clear to Bani that Jai had decided to skip a family function for her sake, only so that he could drive down to Mount Abu and get her back.
Just as she was about to go out of the door, Jai caught her upper arm, gently but unyielding. Bani felt her breath lodge in her throat and color filling in her cheeks well down to her neck in a matter of seconds.
‘Won’t you ask me how I have been doing all these months without you?’ There was such incredible softness and sincerity in his voice, that in spite of her best efforts to appear aloof and calm, Bani felt her knees weaken and her eyes clouded. Standing still besides him, inhaling the slightly woodsy fragrance that Jai always carried with him, she bit her lips to steady herself and not shake like an autumn leaf.
‘How are you?’ her voice came out low and soft as a petal, but carrying immense emotion in it.
He loosened the grip on her arm and turned to face her. Bani barely reached his shoulders in height and hence had her head lowered to his chest, eyes closed. Putting his fingers on her chin, he lifted her face to his and lowered himself to kiss her.
Just then there was a polite knocking on their door, Bani moved back in reflex action, sweat breaking on her flushed face. Sighing in barely concealed irritation, Jai went and opened the door, ready to shout if it was Bhavesh or any of the other servants.
‘Bhaiyya…I was just thinking....’ Karuna stopped mid-sentence when she looked at Bani standing behind Jai and all but yelped, ’Bhabhi? I can’t believe my eyes…and when did you come back? No one told me…Bhaiyya, did you know about Bhabhi coming back…was this supposed to be a surprise.’
Without waiting for any reply from a stunned Jai and Bani, she leapt inside the room and enveloped Bani in a tight hug, speaking continuously while not letting her go. ‘We missed you so much…everyone is going to be so excited…wait till I tell Nachiket…he was getting so depressed that neither you nor Bhaiyya would be there for tonight’s party. Gosh, what a lovely surprise.’
Jai muttered something and excusing himself, left the room for his study, while Karuna kept talking relentlessly. ‘Please, please, please promise me you are not leaving my brother alone again…not leaving any of us, in fact. I missed you so much, Bhabhi.’ Karuna, being the emotional creature that she was, did not take more than a few seconds to start crying and in the process made Bani cry to, more out of the confusion in her mind than any real grief. She had so wanted something to happen between her and Jai…anything that would have eased the self-consciousness between them and now she had to wait till it was night, when they would be alone.
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The rest of the evening was a blur to Bani as Karuna insisted on getting her dressed since it would be the first time she would be meeting Nachiket’s fiancée and in-law’s and that everyone was dying to see the eldest daughter-in-law of Walia Family. Massi, Nachiket and little Anu joined in and made sure that by the time, Nachiket’s in-law’s came in, she did not even have a chance to look at Jai, leave aside talking to him. She did not know whether that fact relieved her more or caused her anxiety.
Draped in a silk bandini sari in a brilliant shade of indigo and magenta, setting off her olive complexion to perfection, she tied her long hair in a thick coil at the nape of her neck, looking here and there for something to pin it up. And then remembered that all her personal stuff was either still packed or in the master bedroom that she shared with Jai.
Just then, Jai walked in, almost making Bani let go of her hair with distraction. He looked extremely severe yet handsome in a dark, brooding kind of way, dressed in a formal double cuffed white shirt and black trousers, his still wet hair combed back and curling at the ends, as they always did when damp. He looked at her reflection for some time in the mirror, taking in her unquestioned natural beauty, even when not fully adorned and then tearing his eyes off with an apparent display of detachment, handed over a bejeweled hair pin to her.
‘Thanks…’ she mumbled, feeling anomalous at the formality and distance between them. Out of the blue, she remembered the many times, when Jai had come barging into their bedroom while she was in the midst of dressing up before going out somewhere and the teasing and flirtation that used to follow, leading to them always being either late or just cancelling out. She had always taken extra effort to dress up and look good, never to impress upon strangers, but always hoping to catch the look of smitten love in Jai’s eyes when he looked at her. Bani had always been a beauty, ever since her childhood, pampered and adored by her parent’s and siblings, envied yet admired by her peers and longed for desperately, sometimes with ferocious passion by men who happened to know her…but she had never held her physical attributes with anything more than a callous disregard. Only till she happened to see herself in the eyes of her husband…like when he used to catch her unawares, gazing at her sleepy face early in the morning…devouring in her languorous beauty…or smiling fondly at her when she came out of a bath, minty fresh and glowing…or the look in his eyes, when perspiration soaked her smooth skin when they made love passionately…she felt truly beautiful only in his presence, only when she saw it reflected in his eyes.
Without Jai’s presence in her life, Bani felt like a river without water in it…like body without soul in it…like a lamp without light in it…complete as an object, but utterly incomplete as a whole.
Coming back to the present with a jerk on hearing Karuna’s cheerful voice that the guests had arrived, she hastily set about pinning her hair and putting some jewellery on. Just as Jai was about to go out of the room, he saw her fumbling her bags, looking fraught.
‘Are you missing something?’ he asked with concern.
Still distracted, she replied back without looking at him, ‘My sindoor box…I can’t find it…I kept it in the toiletry case…can’t see it now…’
‘Its okay Bani, no one will notice…now lets go out…the guests have arrived.’
She looked at him, her face still so innocent and guileless that it always stuck Jai how she looked just as she had a few years back. ‘I never go anywhere without putting on my sindoor.’ It was not an obstinate statement, just so matter of fact, like saying that she can’t live without air. He stared at her for sometime, feeling exasperated yet trying to reign in any show of anger or even irritation…the wound between them was till too raw, any poke, even if accidental would only aggravate the situation.
‘I will get it from the Pooja room…stay here.’ Bani stood waiting still, when Jai came back with a small ivory box and opened it, revealing the dark crimson powder, smelling of incense and camphor. She took it with trembling fingers and without any word between them, kept looking at him.
Jai quietly took some of the vermillion and put it the partition between her forehead, the way she always put it, slightly towards the upper-forehead. Bani had a deep urge to burst out crying and as if on cue, Karuna came bounding in again and urged them both to come out, as everyone was constantly asking for Jai and his unseen wife.
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Bani felt quite out of sorts when she came out to the living hall along with Jai, where Nachiket’s fiancée, Purva along with her family had come over. Jai greeted everyone cordially and met all of them one by one, while Bani stood behind him, feeling incredibly shy and awkward.
All eyes were on her, since no body from Purva’s family had met her before and it was only when Nachiket’s pert and sweet looking fiancée came towards Bani, greeting her with a warm smile, did she ease a bit.
The evening went on pretty much uneventful, with a lot of laughter and bonhomie flowing between both the families. Purva’s grandmother took an instant fancy to Bani’s traditional looks and all of a sudden between dinner said, ‘Purva, you are going to be in big trouble now.’
Everyone looked towards the elderly lady who smiled and continued, ‘With such a beautiful sister-in-law, there is got to be some jealousy on my Purva’s part, isn’t it? Jai beta, you are really very fortunate to have such a wonderful wife.’
Jai stopped eating and putting his fork back in the plate, looked towards Bani in a queer sort of way and without any trace of irony in his voice said, ‘Yes, I am a very lucky man to have Bani as my wife.’
Everyone grinned from ear to ear and Bani all but dug her face in the plate out of shyness and embarrassment. She half wondered if Jai was being sarcastic or did he really mean those words and then felt miserable on the way her mind was functioning, doubting the one person who had given so much love and loyalty to her selflessly.
Purva touched Jai and Bani’s feet before taking leave and they in turn touched Purva’s grandmother’s feet. The evening ended on a perfect note, but the moment all the guests went, there was a tension in the air, as Bani realized that she would be alone with Jai. She could not understand why was she feeling so nervous and fidgety about that fact…hadn’t she come back on her own. Why was she feeling like a stranger in her own house?
It was past midnight when Karuna, Tarun, Nachiket and Massi left, each of them hoping that Jai and Bani would reconcile their differences and be together again. Karuna had wanted to speak with Bani but Tarun told her not to and let the husband and wife sort out their problems on their own first.
Bani had looked for Jai’s night clothes in the guest room wardrobe but wasn’t able to locate it and just as she was about to go to their bedroom and fetch them, Jai came in, still dressed in the evening clothes, his handsomeness accentuated somewhat more by the look of fatigue and seriousness on his face.
They both stood in silence for sometime, each wondering who would take the first step…actually Jai had already done that some time ago, before being interrupted by Karuna and the look he gave to Bani, clearly said that he was hoping for her to say something now. Clamming up at the silence and expectation in his eyes, she ran a nervous hand through her hair and managed to say, ‘I…your night clothes are in the bedroom…I will get them.’
‘That is all you have to say after 5 months of separation, Bani?’ His voice sounded neither angry, not hurt, just plain bewildered. As if he couldn’t believe that Bani could be making such mundane conversation when there was so much to be said and heard between them.
Feeling even more in loss of her emotions, she muttered, ‘I am tired…I..I will go to the bedroom and sleep…good night.’ Saying that she all but ran out of the room and Jai kept standing there in thoughtful silence.
Sleep proved elusive to both of them, Bani kept tossing and turning in the bed, suddenly regretting running away from Jai in this manner and somehow coming back to their bedroom seemed to rekindle the past 5 years of their marriages in front of her eyes. She did not know what to say to him or how to behave in front of him. It was not because of the separation, but the manner in which they had to part ways that refused to let her heart open fully to him. There was no lack of love, there had never been, but now there was fear in her…the fear of being rejected, the fear of being cast aside again and the fear of being thrown apart completely from Jai.
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Bani could only manage to get some sleep in the early hours of the morning and hence was alarmed to see that it was past eight in the morning when her sleep broke. Quickly freshening herself up, she rushed downstairs and was relieved to see that Jai had not yet left for Office, he was sitting at the breakfast table, being served by Bhavesh.
He looked at her for a moment and disappeared behind the newspaper once again and even when Bani wished him a very prim and proper good morning, he just nodded in reply.
Sitting down besides him, Bani endeavored to make small talk, avoiding anything that had to do with them. ‘Purva is a very sweet girl…her family is also very nice…I think Nachiket and she are well-suited to one another.’ Getting no reply from Jai, she prodded on in a low voice, ‘Is the marriage date fixed?’
’17 November.’ Came the staccato reply from Jai, who kept reading the paper, not paying any attention to Bani.
Suddenly infuriated by Jai’s coldness and hurt by the fact that he had not even felt an inch of regret for having packed her off unceremoniously to her parent’s home, she blurted out, in anger and tears, ‘You could have at least said that you were sorry for telling me to go out of your home…would a simple apology have hurt your ego that much?’
Jai did not react in the anticipated manner to the outburst and just folding the paper neatly, looked up at her flushed and crying face and replied calmly, ‘Apologized for what, Bani? I still stand by my decision and hence feel no need to offer any apologies. And anyway, I never make decisions for which I have to feel sorry later on. I hope that explains my stand to you clearly.’
Saying that he walked off the room, leaving Bani stunned at his behavior. She had put aside everything else and came back to him, only because he wanted her back, not even listening to her parent’s and here Jai was telling her that he still stood by her decision. So it was clear now, her presence was merely decorative, needed till an important Walia Family wedding took place and then she could go to hell, or at least that was what Jai had indicated.
Feeling utterly dejected and heartbroken, she rushed back to the bedroom and laid down on the bed, crying heavily. Confused on her own behavior and lack of any familiar warmth or welcome from Jai completely befuddled her senses and all the control and restrain she has mastered before coming to Mumbai came falling apart.
It would have been less than ten minutes later that the bedroom door opened and Bani lifted her tear-strained face to look at Jai, who was staring at her, standing near the door. Immediately getting up, she wiped her face, looking like a badly reprimanded school girl and got out of the bed, assuming that Jai had come to take out his Office clothes.
Mumbling incoherently under her breath that she will see if his lunch was packed, Bani was completely taken unawares, when Jai wrenched her right hand and pulled her fiercely towards him, making her fall down on his chest.
Before she could react, he said in a desperate voice, ‘After 5 long months of being away, all you want to hear from me is a Sorry? Not that I missed you day and night…not that I didn’t stop thinking about you for even a moment…not that I longed for you with a maddening passion…not that I felt like killing myself for pulling you away from me? God Bani, you are such an impossible creature.’
She kept staring at him with shocked eyes, still not comprehending what had come over Jai, till he gathered her with all his force in his arms and kissed her with violent passion, almost knocking them both on the bed.
Bani could barely come out of her shock at the sudden turn of Jai’s behaviour, that a polite but loud knock landed on their bedroom door. With a murderous expression, Jai disentangled himself from his wife and opened the door roughly to face a completely mortified looking Karuna who wondered why she always ended up knocking on her brother’s door whenever he was with his wife.
‘What is it now?’ Jai asked rudely, leaving all pretence of any civility.
‘Er…Um…Actually Tauji and his family have just landed from Chandigarh…for the wedding…remember I had told you two days back…I have put them in the guest rooms below…one of them is occupied by Bhabhi and you…so your luggage will have to be removed…’
Jai kept staring with a thunder-raked expression, completely irritated and at the tether end of his patience.
Karuna gave a sheepish look at Bani who still sat in a numbed, bewildered manner as if she just couldn’t understand what was happening around her and said, ‘Bhabhi, will you come and help me remove the luggage and put it back in your bedroom…and also Tauji and the others want to see both of you.’
Saying that Karuna barely managed to hide her grin at the look on Jai’s face and taking Bani by her hands left him standing, fuming and exasperated beyond control.
To be continued and wrapped off in Part C
Part C
Bani went through the motion of meeting with her extended in-law’s family in a stupor, feeling acutely shaken up by the episode that happened in her bedroom. She was in the middle of serving Tea to the elderly Tauji, when Jai came in and the flush that came on her cheeks was not unnoticed by anyone. One of Jai’s cousins grinned and commented, ‘Amazing, isn’t it? Even after so many years of marriage, just Bhaiyya’s presence makes Bhabhi’s cheeks go rosy.’
Everyone started laughing jovially and teased Bani relentlessly with Jai, making her feel like a new bride all over again. A night ago, she desperately wanted to avoid Jai and now she would have broken every wall just to be with him…and complete the interaction….
It was impossible to get even a moment free and get anywhere near Jai, whenever he was in sight. Most of the time, he either busied himself in the Study or was chatting up with the throngs and throng of relatives who had descended from every corner of India. Bani was amazed to realize that there were so many people in the Walia Family and then realized that she had been too busy sulking during her own marriage to have noticed anything or anyone. And afterwards, had been too busy loving Jai to have bothered with anything or anyone.
It was close to eleven at night, when the dinner was finally cleared up but the chatting and gossiping wasn’t. Bani felt faint with fatigue and just wanted to collapse on the nearest couch or bed, but then she caught sight of Jai standing by the balustrade upstairs where their room was situated and giving her one of those intense, dark stares which still made her heart skip a beat or two.
Flushing profusely, she averted her gaze from him and without wanting too, ended up grinning and not being able to control her laughter, in between still confused between happiness and fear. If only she could have some time with Jai, things would clear up…but it looked impossible to get out of the gathering of cousins, second-cousins, aunt’s and uncle’s and Bani was dutifully going around taking care of everyone, not wanting to give anyone a reason to complain.
It wasn’t before 2 in the morning, that Bani was able to go back to her room, left with great reluctance by some of Jai’s young cousin’s who were meeting her for the first time since her marriage and when she stumbled inside, she found Jai to be still awake. Her own eyes drooped heavily with sleep and she could just about manage to stand on her two feet. He was propped up on his back, supported by several cushions and was working uninterrupted on his laptop, only lifting his face once to meet hers.
She stood for a while, not even having the energy to go and change into her night clothes but at the same time willing herself to gather some guts and approach Jai. When she came near him and sat gingerly down by the side of the bed, he looked up from his laptop, into her eyes and she felt so incredibly shy and awkward, that she lowered them hastily, till she lifted them again to see him keeping his laptop on the side-table and folding his strong, dark arms, said in a devilish voice, ‘Yes? Is there something you want from me…apart from an apology, that is?’
She went deep red in both her cheeks and looked confused again, why was he playing ping-pong with her was beyond her reasoning and her normally chaotic mind was made even duller and heavy by the slumber that she so desperately required.
‘I…’
‘Yes?’ he said tapping his fingers on the watch that he strapped on even while sleeping, which invariably always left some scratch mark on Bani’s sensitive skin.
‘I…’ that was all Bani could manage to say, till she threw Jai aback in surprise, as she fell down right on his chest, with her eyes closed and exhausted and before he could react, she was blissfully sleeping.
‘Well…’ Jai muttered and then started laughing on his own, looking at her lying on his chest, deep in slumber and as limp as a rag doll. Picking her up gently by her waist, he laid her sideways on the bed and covered her with a duvet.
Stroking the smooth skin of her cheek, with his fingers, Jai felt his eyes moistening…it just wasn’t normal to love someone so much and the last two years in his life, he had to balance this constant struggle between his deep love and care for Bani and the manner in which she was losing control of her life and in turn their marriage. Ideally, he should have stuck along with her, putting in with all the self-inflicted misery, supporting her through the grief that she refused to come out of…but fortunately or unfortunately, Jai was made of sterner stuff and was too fond of his marriage, to let love ruin it.
If he had to teach her the tougher way, then so be it…if he ended up losing some of her love, loyalty and devotion in this process, then so be it. Nothing mattered to him more than Bani’s welfare and their marriage…and if sense had to be drilled into her with some amount of brutality and bitterness, then he was more than ready to take the hard path.
Of course, he was hurt in the manner she was withdrawn and fearful from him…but he had kind of expected it. Probably the bitterness of their temporary falling apart would remain in her heart for a long, long time, maybe even forever, but if she could stop ruining her life and living it again, Jai pondered that it would be worth it.
Planting a gentle kiss on her lips, he drifted off to sleep.
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Both Jai and Bani overslept the next morning and just as Bani stirred out of her sleep, she caught Jai looking at her, propped on his elbow, spread out like a tiger sunning himself out in his Den. Caught unawares, she rubbed her eyes, as if to ensure that it wasn't a dream or something and then realizing that her husband was for real and rather up close to her, her heart beat increased. Being in the bed, with her Sari being eased out of her body in all directions wasn't a good sign either.
Closing up to her, Jai murmured in a dangerously low voice, 'Good morning.'
Strains of pink came upon her face and neck, as she cleared her throat to say something, but went redder in complexion instead. Taking an errant lock of hair from her face, he slowly and deliberately pushed it aside, touching her cheeks with his fingers, the roughness of the sensous touch sending shivers down her spine.
He let his fingers play with her shoulder bone, travelling dangerously up and down, not taking his eyes off her face. Bani kept lying, in supposed rigor motis, too afraid to move or react, desire working up her mind and body.
Just then the inter-com from downstairs rang shrilly.
Bodysurfing the bed, Bani grabbed the phone and pressed it on speaker mode, but as soon as she had said hello, Karuna launched into ‘I’m having the day from hell.’ Karuna had stayed last night at Walia House along with her daughter Anu.
Against a cacophony of yelling, she raised her voice and complained. ‘Anu has a pain in her upper tummy and all she had for breakfast was half a slice of toast and peanut butter. Then at lunch-time she wouldn’t eat a thing and I wondered if I should try her with a chocolate biscuit, even though she goes hyper every time she has sugar, so in the end I gave her a custard cream because I thought that would be slightly better than one with chocolate…’
‘Uh-huh,’ Bani nodded sympathetically, as the howling all but drowned out Karuna, and Jai glowered murderously in front of her.
‘…which she ate, so I tried her with another but she just licked off the icing and though she doesn’t have a temperature she’s pale and SHUT UP! LET ME HAVE FIVE SECONDS ON THE PHONE, PLEASE. Oh, hell, I can’t take much more than this. Bhabhi, please could you come and help me out with Anu, I have to go out with Nachiket for some urgent shopping.’
Karuna’s plea was ragged and the screeching simply intensified.
‘Sure, I’ll get Anu right away. Don’t worry, she will be fine with me.’ Bani tried not to look at Jai who had an incredulous expression, as if he couldn’t believe that she would disrupt a potential love-making session with a baby-sitting one.
Karuna sounded faint with gratitude and said quickly, ‘No, don’t bother…I will drop her to your room…she might go to sleep if you tell her story or something…Oh, thank you so much Bhabhi. You are an angel…if she troubles you too much, just call me up on the cell phone.’
Bani assured Karuna that she will manage fine and before Jai, going furious in the face, could question on what the hell was going on, Karuna had barged into their room, trying to completely ignore Jai’s presence and handing over a screeching and tantrum throwing Anu, who gave a toothy smile at Bani and jumped promptly into her hands.
‘Come sweetie…what happened to my baby today?’ Bani cooed into the toddler’s ears and mollycoddled her enough to pacify the screaming and crying. Karuna heaved a relieved sigh and before Anu could start off again, ran out of the room.
Bani gave an apologetic look at Jai and said, both shy and amused, ‘I will try and make her sleep…I think she is cranky because she hasn’t had a full night’s sleep.’
‘I am cranky too…because I haven’t had a full night’s sleep in the last 155 days…tell me, who deserves your attention first. Me or this brat?’
Before Bani could react, Anu who could make out that something not very nice was being said about her, gave one look at a scowling Jai and screamed so loud, that he was almost thrown apart, brining his hands to close his ears.
‘Oh God, this girl sounds like a Nuclear explosion taking place. Anu, please shut up right now.’
Anu instantly picked up the new word and repeated in between tears, ‘Shut up.’
Both Jai and Bani looked mortified by the fact that she had picked up this new word and she said hurriedly, ‘No…No…Anu, don’t say that…it’s a bad word.’
Anu blinked and then pointing a chubby finger at Jai said, ‘Mamu taught me…’
Bani burst out giggling looking at Jai’s incredulous expression who said, ‘Hey, I also taught you twinkle twinkle little star…how come you never remember that?’
Now cheered up, Anu repeated gleefully, ‘Shut Up…’
‘Don’t say that word, Anu.’ Said Jai in a voice he hoped would suitably intimidate the little one, but it didn’t and by the time, Bani went downstairs and got some Chocó-pops for Anu to eat, Jai wanted to stuff cotton into his ears or Anu’s mouth, to stop her blabbering the same word again and again.
Handing over Anu to Bani, he murmured in annoyance, ‘What a brat…Karuna has no control over her.’
‘Brat…Shut up…Brat…’ Anu looked up expectantly at both Jai and Bani, hoping that they would applaud her new vocabulary, but seeing the aghast faces of her Uncle and Aunt, she started sniffing, till Jai hastily cheered her up, before she started wailing again.
If Jai was hoping for anything to take place once Anu drifted off to her nap, it didn’t. Because Anu refused to sleep or even lie down, instead turning their room upside down and all but spraining Jai’s neck, after jumping over him hundred times. Her behavior was surprisingly good with Bani, but she seemed to take some kind of sadistic pleasure in tormenting Jai, who for all the affection he had for his niece could simply not have patience that a toddler requires.
The day went by just running up and down with Anu and keeping her out of harm, or as Jai put it, keeping other people out of the harm that she might do. Besides, Bani was extremely occupied with overlooking the marriage preparations and taking care of the guests.
It was close to ten at night, when Bani had fed, bathed and changed Anu and was putting her to sleep, when Karuna came back after her shopping expedition, looking thoroughly refreshed and exhilarated at the break she had got.
‘Bhabhi…how I can ever thank you for giving me one full day off…she doesn’t stay with anyone if I am not around…only with you.’ Karuna chirped happily while getting gooey kisses and hugs from her daughter.
Jai, who had a slight black eye from the Barney toy that had been hit on his face by Anu, butted in sarcastically, ‘Aren’t you lucky?’
Totally missing the sarcasm, Karuna nodded enthusiastically and said, ‘I know Bhaiyya…now I will leave Anu with both of you when Tarun and I go for our vacation. Will you mind it terribly, Bhabhi?’
Bani smiled and said with genuine warmth, ‘Anytime you please. We would love to have Anu over.’
‘Speak for yourself.’ Jai said noiselessly, only for Bani’s ears, which made her go red and on the point of laughing loudly.
‘Now come on darling, lets go back home…we will come here tomorrow again.’ Karuna tried to wriggle Anu out of Bani’s lap, as she had clung to her fiercely and despite happiness at seeing her Mother, refused to relinquish her care-taker of the day.
‘No…Anu sleep with Bunny Mami…’ Jai looked horror-struck as he tried to wrench apart Anu from his wife, but the girl was like an Octopus that had got stuck somewhere.
In between renewed sobs, kicking, throwing a fuss, hitting Jai on his nose and biting his hand, Karuna sheepishly agreed when Bani told her to leave Anu with them for the night and that she could take the guest room, in case Anu woke up at night and asked for her Mother.
Jai sat furious, nursing his sore eye and bitten thumb and looking at Bani with a frustrated desperation, patiently and lovingly telling stories about Barney, Flintstones, Noddy and Big-ear, Tom and Jerry and god know what other fiction characters, till sleep finally overcame the 5 year old hailstorm as Jai often called her.
When Bani made sure that Anu was deep in sleep, she looked across at Jai, who too had fallen asleep, forearm covering his eyes from the light of the bed-lamp that Anu required even at night. A tender smile came in her eyes an mixed themselves with the moisture in it. She lifted her hand across to smoothen his hair, but held back, hesitating and then getting off from the bed, went towards him and straightened the duvet that was being shared by Jai and Anu.
A sharp spasm of pain filled her heart, watching her husband and the little girl sleeping side by side…for a moment, she felt as if her family was truly complete. Standing near the window, watching the full moon dance to and fro with the clouds, Bani wondered when had she ever felt incomplete without a child…when had Jai ever left her to be withered in loneliness, when had she ever felt that her life had become a solitary journey. Even if Jai wasn’t around all the time, he was always there when she had needed him and wanted him. What more could a woman want, except someone’s true love to fill the canvas of her life? And Jai had painted it with rainbow colors.
She turned to look back at him again, and a surge of love and emotion filled her heart…she wanted to erase all the bitterness and resentment between them and fill it with her love and devotion once again.
We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. And she knew what she had with her was worth everything else combined in the world.
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The wedding was to take place in the next two days and Walia House had the appearance of a disaster-management zone, with people and luggage scattered everywhere. Jai, who valued his privacy and peace more than everything else in his life, went half crazy trying to find a moment to himself, he had all but given up hope of having even a word with Bani, till the circus party left his home and him in peace.
But little Anu who had firmly occupied herself at Walia House and refused to go back to her own home, preferring the chaos and confusion of her Uncle’s home, pottered her way to his study, despite his strict instructions to everyone that he might not be disturbed. Everyone was so scared of Jai, that except a grumbling Tauji, no one gathered the guts to tell him to loosen up for once and enjoy his brother’s marriage instead of ploughing away like an Ox day and night, cooped up in his study.
‘Mamu…’ chirped Anu, her face dirty with traces of peanut butter jam and some jelly sticking out of her mouth.
Giving a not so welcoming look at his little niece, Jai said warily, ‘What is it Anu? Didn’t your Mumma tell you not to disturb me?’
Not paying any heed to either her Mother’s instructions or the fact that Jai was being wholly unwelcoming to her, she clambered up to him and with great difficulty sat on his laps, dirtying his freshly laundered white shirt with a generous sampling of peanut butter.
‘I want to watch Barney…put the CD.’
‘Oh Good Lord…Anu, we saw that damn thing 30 times in two days….No, nothing doing. You go out and play with someone…find your Mami and torture her instead. Go.’
Putting her down from his lap gently, he ushered her to go outside, wiping his shirt sleeve of the mucky looking brown substance, till he saw her staring at him with her big, button like eyes.
‘What is it angel-face? Why aren’t you gone out yet?’ Jai sounded out in a sarcasm laced voice, of which obviously nothing Anu could understand.
‘Barney CD.’ She repeated obstinately.
Closing his eyes in desperation, he took a deep breath and then addressing her with the same saccharine sweetness said, ‘Didn’t your Mumma tell you? Barney died while bicycling yesterday, so we can’t watch him anymore. Go now, scoot…ask Bhavesh if there is any ice-cream in the fridge, go and have it.’
Kissing her impulsively on her rounded cheeks, he made her go out and started working on his laptop again, completely immersed in his work.
After an interval of about 15 minutes, Bani came inside with an annoyed looking Karuna and a howling at the top of her voice Anu. Jai gave an exasperated look at the trio and said to himself, ‘As if one wasn’t enough to give me headache, now all the thee have landed.’ Outwardly, he said as politely as he could, ‘Yes?’
‘Bhaiyya, what did you say to my Anu?’ Karuna spoke in a miffed voice, mixed with the natural fear she had of her elder brother and the protectiveness of a Mother, which had led her to fight with her brother.
Jai looked confused and said, ‘What did I say?’
Karuna kind of fumed and looked towards Bani for admonishing her husband, going slightly pink in her cheeks, she averted her gaze from Jai and said in a soft voice, digging her nails into the soft flesh of her palms, to avoid laughing, ‘Did you tell Anu that Barney doesn’t exist?’
Karuna chipped in tartly, ‘Don’t sugar-coat his words, Bhabhi…you are always sticking up for him. Bhaiyaa, did you tell my Anu that Barney is dead? Now she has been crying since then and refuses to have her lunch.’
Jai gave a look indicating that he just couldn’t believe such a conversation was even taking place and giving one piquant look at the supposedly angelic faced Anu said, ‘She was bothering me…I was busy, I asked not be disturbed…and I had seen that damned Barney Video a zillion times since yesterday…can’t one of you handle her?’
Anu chirped in happily, ‘Damned…Brat…’ and as the trio of Jai, Bani and Karuna looked shell-shocked, she put in with more emphasis and shouted loudly, ‘Shut-up’ and started gleefully clapping her hands.
It was just enough for all the three of them to burst out laughing and Jai picked up the errant toddle in his arms and lifted her in the air which always made her squeal with delight and said, ‘I give up princess! You win…now go and have something to eat and I promise, we will watch Barney again. And yes, he is very much alive and thriving!’
Encircling Jai’s neck with her arms, she said, ‘Pucca Promise or Kaccha Promise?’ Jai laughed warmly at her and kissing her adoringly on both her cheeks said, ‘Pucca Pucca Promise! Now off you go and don’t trouble your Mom!’
Jai and Bani kept standing in the room, with laughter still lingering in the air out of Anu’s antics and all of a sudden, in between her laughter, she started crying. Jai did not make a move but just kept staring silently at his wife, till she came up to him and in a voice choked with pent-up emotions said, ‘I….’
Putting his index finger over her lips, he looked down deeply into her eyes and with all seriousness said, ‘Now that the only thing you want from me is an apology…so be it.’
‘No, I don’t want an apology.’ Said Bani with desperation, wanting to say something, but Jai’s eyes twinkled with mischief.
‘Sorry, too late.’ he quipped.
‘Listen…’ she urged in anguish.
‘No…actually Sorry, No.’ he went on unmindful and playful.
‘Stop teasing me…’ she said trying to wipe her tears.
‘Oh, am I? Sorry for that.’ Jai spoke in a pseudo-serious voice, clearly pulling her leg.
‘Stop repeating that word.’ Bani said now trapped between laughter, tears and impatience.
‘Sorry, I won’t.’ he said, the smile still held in his soot-black eyes.
‘Please….’ she all but screamed in hopelessness and hilarity, but Jai had already backed off, going near his work-station. She followed him and with a display of unusual boldness held his arms, falling on his chest and said in a hushed but truthful voice, ‘I missed you…’
‘Once again, I am sorry…’ before Jai could keep teasing her, she looked up at him and standing on her toes, kissed him full on his mouth, clearing shocking the life out of him and making him lose his balance as both of them fell down with a thud on the thickly carpeted floor, for which Jai was greatly thankful.
Pushing her down on the carpet, he got over her and kept gazing her face with a naked hunger and passion. Eye-level with his chin, she thought vaguely, he needs to shave. It was important to think normal things like this. Because in other corners of her consciousness, other thoughts were going on.
Bani kept going and suddenly she found herself pressing her thigh hard against his. She jerked to a halt, but didn’t pull away. They were perfectly still, frozen in the dance.
‘Bani, would you please look at me?’ Jai’s voice against her hair was anguished.
I can’t, she thought.
Then suddenly she could. She turned her face upwards, his sloe-black eyes blazed down and their mouths met in a hard kiss. Many months of waiting went into it. The low-down opening sensation yielded in Bani; normally it burgeoned gradually, but this time it arrived with an abrupt thrust of desire.
His hands on her face, they kissed until they hurt each other. Hungry and desperate, they couldn’t get enough of each other.
‘Sorry,’ Jai whispered, laughter dancing in his eyes.
‘Huh?’, she murmured back, completely lost.
Gradually the kisses calmed, becoming dreamier and gentle until his lips were like feathers as they sucked against her tender mouth. The music was still on the stereo and they seemed to be circling slowly.
Bani slid her hands under Jai’s shirt and up along the delicious roughness of his back. Their bodies were pressed up against each other, his palms on her waist were pulling her even closer and she felt syrupy, floaty and blissful. She had no idea how long they spent like that. It could have been ten minutes or two hours, but suddenly Bani had taken off Jai’s shirt.
They slid themselves along each other and every touch; every gesture was inquisitive and gentle. Shivering uncontrollably, she felt his hands smoothing the thin silk of her Sari, tracing the narrow line of her back, pulling her possessively into the hard contour of his body. They locked together, B**** to chest, stomach to stomach. It wasn’t a conscious blending; it felt detached, somehow wildly out of her control, inevitable.
When he started seeking deeper intimacy with her mouth, she found her fingers slowly lifting to touch the crisp dark hair which curled at the nape of his neck.
‘Bani…’ he lifted his mouth form hers, his breath rasping slightly in his throat, and she want’ sure how to interpret the slightly questioning not in his voice. It was best not to try. She glared questioningly up at him.
Only till they saw Anu standing at the doorway, looking befuddled and lost. Mortified out of her life, Bani hastily scrambled from the floor, leaving Jai lying there alone, looking rather funny in his semi-clothed state and getting crimson all over her face, addressed the child softly, ‘What happened Anu?’
‘Wee Wee…’
she said and kind of
moved sideways to indicate that she was holding up her bladder with great
difficulty and unless Jai wanted his super-expensive Turkish Carpet to go to
the cleaners, his wife better take her to the toilet.
Giving a, ‘Why is it happening to us?’ look at one another, Bani picked up Anu in her arms and took her to the washroom in Jai’s study and when she was getting her hand’s washed, Jai came from behind, having reluctantly buttoned on his shirt and stared at Bani’s reflection in the mirror, which made her go the exact shade of the crimson sari she was wearing.
Her lips had gone swollen and her cheeks looked feverishly red, taking a lock of her disheveled hair behind her ear, he whispered seductively, ‘Obviously, your parent’s weren’t feeding you…no wonder you looked like a bleached fish when you came back…and now look…you could give competition to a garden full of Apple Trees in full bloom!’
Giggling uncontrollably, Bani shook her head to indicate that he better keep quiet unless he wanted any of their conversation getting repeated in front of the entire Walia Clan.
Anu wouldn’t let go of Bani and insisted on her coming to the lawn and playing on the swing with her and beside the Ladies Sangeet was going to take place shortly and everyone must have been looking for Bani.
Jai gave up doing his work, saying that he couldn’t concentrate on it anyway, not until he had Bani where he wanted to.
‘So…I hope you accepted my apology.’ He said, glancing up and down her face with such wickedness, that she felt herself going absolutely self-conscious and bashful.
‘Accepted.’ she said in a low, soft voice, barely heard.
‘So, now it’s my turn to get what I want?’ it sounded less like a question and much more like a statement.
‘Only after the wedding is over.’ She answered coquettishly, as Anu pulled her by the Mangalsutra chain, insisting on going out.
‘Of course after the wedding is over. What do you think I am, a hermit?’ Jai retorted, making Bani dissolve into peals of laughter.
‘But as you know, being a business man, I don’t believe in the concept of credit…since you got your apology…I will get my wife to where she belongs…and that would be before the wedding, by the way.’
Leaving a stunned looking Bani behind, Jai planted a kiss on Anu’s cheeks and left the study.
Bani went through the motion of meeting with her extended in-law’s family in a stupor, feeling acutely shaken up by the episode that happened in her bedroom. She was in the middle of serving Tea to the elderly Tauji, when Jai came in and the flush that came on her cheeks was not unnoticed by anyone. One of Jai’s cousins grinned and commented, ‘Amazing, isn’t it? Even after so many years of marriage, just Bhaiyya’s presence makes Bhabhi’s cheeks go rosy.’
Everyone started laughing jovially and teased Bani relentlessly with Jai, making her feel like a new bride all over again. A night ago, she desperately wanted to avoid Jai and now she would have broken every wall just to be with him…and complete the interaction….
It was impossible to get even a moment free and get anywhere near Jai, whenever he was in sight. Most of the time, he either busied himself in the Study or was chatting up with the throngs and throng of relatives who had descended from every corner of India. Bani was amazed to realize that there were so many people in the Walia Family and then realized that she had been too busy sulking during her own marriage to have noticed anything or anyone. And afterwards, had been too busy loving Jai to have bothered with anything or anyone.
It was close to eleven at night, when the dinner was finally cleared up but the chatting and gossiping wasn’t. Bani felt faint with fatigue and just wanted to collapse on the nearest couch or bed, but then she caught sight of Jai standing by the balustrade upstairs where their room was situated and giving her one of those intense, dark stares which still made her heart skip a beat or two.
Flushing profusely, she averted her gaze from him and without wanting too, ended up grinning and not being able to control her laughter, in between still confused between happiness and fear. If only she could have some time with Jai, things would clear up…but it looked impossible to get out of the gathering of cousins, second-cousins, aunt’s and uncle’s and Bani was dutifully going around taking care of everyone, not wanting to give anyone a reason to complain.
It wasn’t before 2 in the morning, that Bani was able to go back to her room, left with great reluctance by some of Jai’s young cousin’s who were meeting her for the first time since her marriage and when she stumbled inside, she found Jai to be still awake. Her own eyes drooped heavily with sleep and she could just about manage to stand on her two feet. He was propped up on his back, supported by several cushions and was working uninterrupted on his laptop, only lifting his face once to meet hers.
She stood for a while, not even having the energy to go and change into her night clothes but at the same time willing herself to gather some guts and approach Jai. When she came near him and sat gingerly down by the side of the bed, he looked up from his laptop, into her eyes and she felt so incredibly shy and awkward, that she lowered them hastily, till she lifted them again to see him keeping his laptop on the side-table and folding his strong, dark arms, said in a devilish voice, ‘Yes? Is there something you want from me…apart from an apology, that is?’
She went deep red in both her cheeks and looked confused again, why was he playing ping-pong with her was beyond her reasoning and her normally chaotic mind was made even duller and heavy by the slumber that she so desperately required.
‘I…’
‘Yes?’ he said tapping his fingers on the watch that he strapped on even while sleeping, which invariably always left some scratch mark on Bani’s sensitive skin.
‘I…’ that was all Bani could manage to say, till she threw Jai aback in surprise, as she fell down right on his chest, with her eyes closed and exhausted and before he could react, she was blissfully sleeping.
‘Well…’ Jai muttered and then started laughing on his own, looking at her lying on his chest, deep in slumber and as limp as a rag doll. Picking her up gently by her waist, he laid her sideways on the bed and covered her with a duvet.
Stroking the smooth skin of her cheek, with his fingers, Jai felt his eyes moistening…it just wasn’t normal to love someone so much and the last two years in his life, he had to balance this constant struggle between his deep love and care for Bani and the manner in which she was losing control of her life and in turn their marriage. Ideally, he should have stuck along with her, putting in with all the self-inflicted misery, supporting her through the grief that she refused to come out of…but fortunately or unfortunately, Jai was made of sterner stuff and was too fond of his marriage, to let love ruin it.
If he had to teach her the tougher way, then so be it…if he ended up losing some of her love, loyalty and devotion in this process, then so be it. Nothing mattered to him more than Bani’s welfare and their marriage…and if sense had to be drilled into her with some amount of brutality and bitterness, then he was more than ready to take the hard path.
Of course, he was hurt in the manner she was withdrawn and fearful from him…but he had kind of expected it. Probably the bitterness of their temporary falling apart would remain in her heart for a long, long time, maybe even forever, but if she could stop ruining her life and living it again, Jai pondered that it would be worth it.
Planting a gentle kiss on her lips, he drifted off to sleep.
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Both Jai and Bani overslept the next morning and just as Bani stirred out of her sleep, she caught Jai looking at her, propped on his elbow, spread out like a tiger sunning himself out in his Den. Caught unawares, she rubbed her eyes, as if to ensure that it wasn't a dream or something and then realizing that her husband was for real and rather up close to her, her heart beat increased. Being in the bed, with her Sari being eased out of her body in all directions wasn't a good sign either.
Closing up to her, Jai murmured in a dangerously low voice, 'Good morning.'
Strains of pink came upon her face and neck, as she cleared her throat to say something, but went redder in complexion instead. Taking an errant lock of hair from her face, he slowly and deliberately pushed it aside, touching her cheeks with his fingers, the roughness of the sensous touch sending shivers down her spine.
He let his fingers play with her shoulder bone, travelling dangerously up and down, not taking his eyes off her face. Bani kept lying, in supposed rigor motis, too afraid to move or react, desire working up her mind and body.
Just then the inter-com from downstairs rang shrilly.
Bodysurfing the bed, Bani grabbed the phone and pressed it on speaker mode, but as soon as she had said hello, Karuna launched into ‘I’m having the day from hell.’ Karuna had stayed last night at Walia House along with her daughter Anu.
Against a cacophony of yelling, she raised her voice and complained. ‘Anu has a pain in her upper tummy and all she had for breakfast was half a slice of toast and peanut butter. Then at lunch-time she wouldn’t eat a thing and I wondered if I should try her with a chocolate biscuit, even though she goes hyper every time she has sugar, so in the end I gave her a custard cream because I thought that would be slightly better than one with chocolate…’
‘Uh-huh,’ Bani nodded sympathetically, as the howling all but drowned out Karuna, and Jai glowered murderously in front of her.
‘…which she ate, so I tried her with another but she just licked off the icing and though she doesn’t have a temperature she’s pale and SHUT UP! LET ME HAVE FIVE SECONDS ON THE PHONE, PLEASE. Oh, hell, I can’t take much more than this. Bhabhi, please could you come and help me out with Anu, I have to go out with Nachiket for some urgent shopping.’
Karuna’s plea was ragged and the screeching simply intensified.
‘Sure, I’ll get Anu right away. Don’t worry, she will be fine with me.’ Bani tried not to look at Jai who had an incredulous expression, as if he couldn’t believe that she would disrupt a potential love-making session with a baby-sitting one.
Karuna sounded faint with gratitude and said quickly, ‘No, don’t bother…I will drop her to your room…she might go to sleep if you tell her story or something…Oh, thank you so much Bhabhi. You are an angel…if she troubles you too much, just call me up on the cell phone.’
Bani assured Karuna that she will manage fine and before Jai, going furious in the face, could question on what the hell was going on, Karuna had barged into their room, trying to completely ignore Jai’s presence and handing over a screeching and tantrum throwing Anu, who gave a toothy smile at Bani and jumped promptly into her hands.
‘Come sweetie…what happened to my baby today?’ Bani cooed into the toddler’s ears and mollycoddled her enough to pacify the screaming and crying. Karuna heaved a relieved sigh and before Anu could start off again, ran out of the room.
Bani gave an apologetic look at Jai and said, both shy and amused, ‘I will try and make her sleep…I think she is cranky because she hasn’t had a full night’s sleep.’
‘I am cranky too…because I haven’t had a full night’s sleep in the last 155 days…tell me, who deserves your attention first. Me or this brat?’
Before Bani could react, Anu who could make out that something not very nice was being said about her, gave one look at a scowling Jai and screamed so loud, that he was almost thrown apart, brining his hands to close his ears.
‘Oh God, this girl sounds like a Nuclear explosion taking place. Anu, please shut up right now.’
Anu instantly picked up the new word and repeated in between tears, ‘Shut up.’
Both Jai and Bani looked mortified by the fact that she had picked up this new word and she said hurriedly, ‘No…No…Anu, don’t say that…it’s a bad word.’
Anu blinked and then pointing a chubby finger at Jai said, ‘Mamu taught me…’
Bani burst out giggling looking at Jai’s incredulous expression who said, ‘Hey, I also taught you twinkle twinkle little star…how come you never remember that?’
Now cheered up, Anu repeated gleefully, ‘Shut Up…’
‘Don’t say that word, Anu.’ Said Jai in a voice he hoped would suitably intimidate the little one, but it didn’t and by the time, Bani went downstairs and got some Chocó-pops for Anu to eat, Jai wanted to stuff cotton into his ears or Anu’s mouth, to stop her blabbering the same word again and again.
Handing over Anu to Bani, he murmured in annoyance, ‘What a brat…Karuna has no control over her.’
‘Brat…Shut up…Brat…’ Anu looked up expectantly at both Jai and Bani, hoping that they would applaud her new vocabulary, but seeing the aghast faces of her Uncle and Aunt, she started sniffing, till Jai hastily cheered her up, before she started wailing again.
If Jai was hoping for anything to take place once Anu drifted off to her nap, it didn’t. Because Anu refused to sleep or even lie down, instead turning their room upside down and all but spraining Jai’s neck, after jumping over him hundred times. Her behavior was surprisingly good with Bani, but she seemed to take some kind of sadistic pleasure in tormenting Jai, who for all the affection he had for his niece could simply not have patience that a toddler requires.
The day went by just running up and down with Anu and keeping her out of harm, or as Jai put it, keeping other people out of the harm that she might do. Besides, Bani was extremely occupied with overlooking the marriage preparations and taking care of the guests.
It was close to ten at night, when Bani had fed, bathed and changed Anu and was putting her to sleep, when Karuna came back after her shopping expedition, looking thoroughly refreshed and exhilarated at the break she had got.
‘Bhabhi…how I can ever thank you for giving me one full day off…she doesn’t stay with anyone if I am not around…only with you.’ Karuna chirped happily while getting gooey kisses and hugs from her daughter.
Jai, who had a slight black eye from the Barney toy that had been hit on his face by Anu, butted in sarcastically, ‘Aren’t you lucky?’
Totally missing the sarcasm, Karuna nodded enthusiastically and said, ‘I know Bhaiyya…now I will leave Anu with both of you when Tarun and I go for our vacation. Will you mind it terribly, Bhabhi?’
Bani smiled and said with genuine warmth, ‘Anytime you please. We would love to have Anu over.’
‘Speak for yourself.’ Jai said noiselessly, only for Bani’s ears, which made her go red and on the point of laughing loudly.
‘Now come on darling, lets go back home…we will come here tomorrow again.’ Karuna tried to wriggle Anu out of Bani’s lap, as she had clung to her fiercely and despite happiness at seeing her Mother, refused to relinquish her care-taker of the day.
‘No…Anu sleep with Bunny Mami…’ Jai looked horror-struck as he tried to wrench apart Anu from his wife, but the girl was like an Octopus that had got stuck somewhere.
In between renewed sobs, kicking, throwing a fuss, hitting Jai on his nose and biting his hand, Karuna sheepishly agreed when Bani told her to leave Anu with them for the night and that she could take the guest room, in case Anu woke up at night and asked for her Mother.
Jai sat furious, nursing his sore eye and bitten thumb and looking at Bani with a frustrated desperation, patiently and lovingly telling stories about Barney, Flintstones, Noddy and Big-ear, Tom and Jerry and god know what other fiction characters, till sleep finally overcame the 5 year old hailstorm as Jai often called her.
When Bani made sure that Anu was deep in sleep, she looked across at Jai, who too had fallen asleep, forearm covering his eyes from the light of the bed-lamp that Anu required even at night. A tender smile came in her eyes an mixed themselves with the moisture in it. She lifted her hand across to smoothen his hair, but held back, hesitating and then getting off from the bed, went towards him and straightened the duvet that was being shared by Jai and Anu.
A sharp spasm of pain filled her heart, watching her husband and the little girl sleeping side by side…for a moment, she felt as if her family was truly complete. Standing near the window, watching the full moon dance to and fro with the clouds, Bani wondered when had she ever felt incomplete without a child…when had Jai ever left her to be withered in loneliness, when had she ever felt that her life had become a solitary journey. Even if Jai wasn’t around all the time, he was always there when she had needed him and wanted him. What more could a woman want, except someone’s true love to fill the canvas of her life? And Jai had painted it with rainbow colors.
She turned to look back at him again, and a surge of love and emotion filled her heart…she wanted to erase all the bitterness and resentment between them and fill it with her love and devotion once again.
We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. And she knew what she had with her was worth everything else combined in the world.
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The wedding was to take place in the next two days and Walia House had the appearance of a disaster-management zone, with people and luggage scattered everywhere. Jai, who valued his privacy and peace more than everything else in his life, went half crazy trying to find a moment to himself, he had all but given up hope of having even a word with Bani, till the circus party left his home and him in peace.
But little Anu who had firmly occupied herself at Walia House and refused to go back to her own home, preferring the chaos and confusion of her Uncle’s home, pottered her way to his study, despite his strict instructions to everyone that he might not be disturbed. Everyone was so scared of Jai, that except a grumbling Tauji, no one gathered the guts to tell him to loosen up for once and enjoy his brother’s marriage instead of ploughing away like an Ox day and night, cooped up in his study.
‘Mamu…’ chirped Anu, her face dirty with traces of peanut butter jam and some jelly sticking out of her mouth.
Giving a not so welcoming look at his little niece, Jai said warily, ‘What is it Anu? Didn’t your Mumma tell you not to disturb me?’
Not paying any heed to either her Mother’s instructions or the fact that Jai was being wholly unwelcoming to her, she clambered up to him and with great difficulty sat on his laps, dirtying his freshly laundered white shirt with a generous sampling of peanut butter.
‘I want to watch Barney…put the CD.’
‘Oh Good Lord…Anu, we saw that damn thing 30 times in two days….No, nothing doing. You go out and play with someone…find your Mami and torture her instead. Go.’
Putting her down from his lap gently, he ushered her to go outside, wiping his shirt sleeve of the mucky looking brown substance, till he saw her staring at him with her big, button like eyes.
‘What is it angel-face? Why aren’t you gone out yet?’ Jai sounded out in a sarcasm laced voice, of which obviously nothing Anu could understand.
‘Barney CD.’ She repeated obstinately.
Closing his eyes in desperation, he took a deep breath and then addressing her with the same saccharine sweetness said, ‘Didn’t your Mumma tell you? Barney died while bicycling yesterday, so we can’t watch him anymore. Go now, scoot…ask Bhavesh if there is any ice-cream in the fridge, go and have it.’
Kissing her impulsively on her rounded cheeks, he made her go out and started working on his laptop again, completely immersed in his work.
After an interval of about 15 minutes, Bani came inside with an annoyed looking Karuna and a howling at the top of her voice Anu. Jai gave an exasperated look at the trio and said to himself, ‘As if one wasn’t enough to give me headache, now all the thee have landed.’ Outwardly, he said as politely as he could, ‘Yes?’
‘Bhaiyya, what did you say to my Anu?’ Karuna spoke in a miffed voice, mixed with the natural fear she had of her elder brother and the protectiveness of a Mother, which had led her to fight with her brother.
Jai looked confused and said, ‘What did I say?’
Karuna kind of fumed and looked towards Bani for admonishing her husband, going slightly pink in her cheeks, she averted her gaze from Jai and said in a soft voice, digging her nails into the soft flesh of her palms, to avoid laughing, ‘Did you tell Anu that Barney doesn’t exist?’
Karuna chipped in tartly, ‘Don’t sugar-coat his words, Bhabhi…you are always sticking up for him. Bhaiyaa, did you tell my Anu that Barney is dead? Now she has been crying since then and refuses to have her lunch.’
Jai gave a look indicating that he just couldn’t believe such a conversation was even taking place and giving one piquant look at the supposedly angelic faced Anu said, ‘She was bothering me…I was busy, I asked not be disturbed…and I had seen that damned Barney Video a zillion times since yesterday…can’t one of you handle her?’
Anu chirped in happily, ‘Damned…Brat…’ and as the trio of Jai, Bani and Karuna looked shell-shocked, she put in with more emphasis and shouted loudly, ‘Shut-up’ and started gleefully clapping her hands.
It was just enough for all the three of them to burst out laughing and Jai picked up the errant toddle in his arms and lifted her in the air which always made her squeal with delight and said, ‘I give up princess! You win…now go and have something to eat and I promise, we will watch Barney again. And yes, he is very much alive and thriving!’
Encircling Jai’s neck with her arms, she said, ‘Pucca Promise or Kaccha Promise?’ Jai laughed warmly at her and kissing her adoringly on both her cheeks said, ‘Pucca Pucca Promise! Now off you go and don’t trouble your Mom!’
Jai and Bani kept standing in the room, with laughter still lingering in the air out of Anu’s antics and all of a sudden, in between her laughter, she started crying. Jai did not make a move but just kept staring silently at his wife, till she came up to him and in a voice choked with pent-up emotions said, ‘I….’
Putting his index finger over her lips, he looked down deeply into her eyes and with all seriousness said, ‘Now that the only thing you want from me is an apology…so be it.’
‘No, I don’t want an apology.’ Said Bani with desperation, wanting to say something, but Jai’s eyes twinkled with mischief.
‘Sorry, too late.’ he quipped.
‘Listen…’ she urged in anguish.
‘No…actually Sorry, No.’ he went on unmindful and playful.
‘Stop teasing me…’ she said trying to wipe her tears.
‘Oh, am I? Sorry for that.’ Jai spoke in a pseudo-serious voice, clearly pulling her leg.
‘Stop repeating that word.’ Bani said now trapped between laughter, tears and impatience.
‘Sorry, I won’t.’ he said, the smile still held in his soot-black eyes.
‘Please….’ she all but screamed in hopelessness and hilarity, but Jai had already backed off, going near his work-station. She followed him and with a display of unusual boldness held his arms, falling on his chest and said in a hushed but truthful voice, ‘I missed you…’
‘Once again, I am sorry…’ before Jai could keep teasing her, she looked up at him and standing on her toes, kissed him full on his mouth, clearing shocking the life out of him and making him lose his balance as both of them fell down with a thud on the thickly carpeted floor, for which Jai was greatly thankful.
Pushing her down on the carpet, he got over her and kept gazing her face with a naked hunger and passion. Eye-level with his chin, she thought vaguely, he needs to shave. It was important to think normal things like this. Because in other corners of her consciousness, other thoughts were going on.
Bani kept going and suddenly she found herself pressing her thigh hard against his. She jerked to a halt, but didn’t pull away. They were perfectly still, frozen in the dance.
‘Bani, would you please look at me?’ Jai’s voice against her hair was anguished.
I can’t, she thought.
Then suddenly she could. She turned her face upwards, his sloe-black eyes blazed down and their mouths met in a hard kiss. Many months of waiting went into it. The low-down opening sensation yielded in Bani; normally it burgeoned gradually, but this time it arrived with an abrupt thrust of desire.
His hands on her face, they kissed until they hurt each other. Hungry and desperate, they couldn’t get enough of each other.
‘Sorry,’ Jai whispered, laughter dancing in his eyes.
‘Huh?’, she murmured back, completely lost.
Gradually the kisses calmed, becoming dreamier and gentle until his lips were like feathers as they sucked against her tender mouth. The music was still on the stereo and they seemed to be circling slowly.
Bani slid her hands under Jai’s shirt and up along the delicious roughness of his back. Their bodies were pressed up against each other, his palms on her waist were pulling her even closer and she felt syrupy, floaty and blissful. She had no idea how long they spent like that. It could have been ten minutes or two hours, but suddenly Bani had taken off Jai’s shirt.
They slid themselves along each other and every touch; every gesture was inquisitive and gentle. Shivering uncontrollably, she felt his hands smoothing the thin silk of her Sari, tracing the narrow line of her back, pulling her possessively into the hard contour of his body. They locked together, B**** to chest, stomach to stomach. It wasn’t a conscious blending; it felt detached, somehow wildly out of her control, inevitable.
When he started seeking deeper intimacy with her mouth, she found her fingers slowly lifting to touch the crisp dark hair which curled at the nape of his neck.
‘Bani…’ he lifted his mouth form hers, his breath rasping slightly in his throat, and she want’ sure how to interpret the slightly questioning not in his voice. It was best not to try. She glared questioningly up at him.
Only till they saw Anu standing at the doorway, looking befuddled and lost. Mortified out of her life, Bani hastily scrambled from the floor, leaving Jai lying there alone, looking rather funny in his semi-clothed state and getting crimson all over her face, addressed the child softly, ‘What happened Anu?’
‘Wee Wee…’
she said and kind of
moved sideways to indicate that she was holding up her bladder with great
difficulty and unless Jai wanted his super-expensive Turkish Carpet to go to
the cleaners, his wife better take her to the toilet.Giving a, ‘Why is it happening to us?’ look at one another, Bani picked up Anu in her arms and took her to the washroom in Jai’s study and when she was getting her hand’s washed, Jai came from behind, having reluctantly buttoned on his shirt and stared at Bani’s reflection in the mirror, which made her go the exact shade of the crimson sari she was wearing.
Her lips had gone swollen and her cheeks looked feverishly red, taking a lock of her disheveled hair behind her ear, he whispered seductively, ‘Obviously, your parent’s weren’t feeding you…no wonder you looked like a bleached fish when you came back…and now look…you could give competition to a garden full of Apple Trees in full bloom!’
Giggling uncontrollably, Bani shook her head to indicate that he better keep quiet unless he wanted any of their conversation getting repeated in front of the entire Walia Clan.
Anu wouldn’t let go of Bani and insisted on her coming to the lawn and playing on the swing with her and beside the Ladies Sangeet was going to take place shortly and everyone must have been looking for Bani.
Jai gave up doing his work, saying that he couldn’t concentrate on it anyway, not until he had Bani where he wanted to.
‘So…I hope you accepted my apology.’ He said, glancing up and down her face with such wickedness, that she felt herself going absolutely self-conscious and bashful.
‘Accepted.’ she said in a low, soft voice, barely heard.
‘So, now it’s my turn to get what I want?’ it sounded less like a question and much more like a statement.
‘Only after the wedding is over.’ She answered coquettishly, as Anu pulled her by the Mangalsutra chain, insisting on going out.
‘Of course after the wedding is over. What do you think I am, a hermit?’ Jai retorted, making Bani dissolve into peals of laughter.
‘But as you know, being a business man, I don’t believe in the concept of credit…since you got your apology…I will get my wife to where she belongs…and that would be before the wedding, by the way.’
Leaving a stunned looking Bani behind, Jai planted a kiss on Anu’s cheeks and left the study.
The entire house was overwhelmed with the scene of flowers, camphor, sweets and food and try as he might, the last two days to his brother’s wedding proved completely unavoidable to Jai. Not that he did not want to participate in his beloved brother’s wedding ceremonies, but privacy and solitude was so ingrained in his nature that he found any change quite unsettling. No one seemed to leave him alone for a moment and his various cousins, nephews and nieces who normally couldn’t speak eye to eye with him, were teasing, pulling his leg, beckoning him to join the festivities.
Not wanting to appear like a sour grape, he very ungracefully participated in the proceedings, whereas planning a complete re-haul of his house after everyone had left. The pristine white couch, imported all the way from Italy, now appeared a shade of sickly mustard, that too in patches. Two Belgium vases had already gone down and the way Karuna insisted on dumping Anu at Jai and Bani, giving excuses of marriage preparations, it looked as if a lot of other expensive things were going to be sacrificed too, along with Jai’s back which appeared broken because of Anu’s bungee jumping on it.
Jai hardly even saw Bani in the last two days to wedding, what with her family also coming and a tearful reunion happening between the estranged mother and daughter. Jai rolled his eyes at the display of ample melodrama and went extra cordial with the Dixit’s, assuring them that he was quite serious about their daughter and was in no way planning to abandon her in near future. Bani's older brother wasn't very convinced and they both struck a rather cold note with one another, with Bani playing peacemaker with no success.
The wedding day arrived in glorious splendor, with strains of music and laughter intermingling with fairy lights and festivities. The Baarat was to leave Walia House around 7 in the evening for the Hotel where the wedding was going to take place. Jai stood by the railing of his first floor room and watched Bani flutter by from one corner of the room to another, her hands dyed dark red in Henna and her face glowing like moonlight. In between the running around, Bani caught his eye and with a mischevious bent of mind, made an impromptu cup of coffee and went across to Jai’s room.
Jai was on a phone with Purva’s father, confirming last minute detail and he gave a casual look at his wife when she came inside the room, almost 2 days after they had come unstuck in the Study, interrupted by Anu. Bani had slept in the guest room with Karuna and Anu, who stuck like glue to her aunt and hence poor Jai had no chance of ever fulfilling what he had threatened or rather promised.
Jai finished the phone call and looked at Bani, deliberately arranging his impeccably arranged clothes in the wad robe and smiling to himself, said, ‘Are you challenging me by any way?’ Suppressing her smile, she turned to look at him with an innocent expression and said, ‘Challenging?’ Giving a mocking smile, Jai came near her and pinning her back to the wooden door, whispered huskily into her ears, ‘I said before the wedding…and the wedding is still to take place. So don’t look so cocky!’
Looking impetuous, she retorted back, ‘We have to leave for the wedding in another 5 hours.’ Staring at her intensely for sometime, which evoked a deep blush from her, he replied back with serious intent, ‘Exactly!’
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It was close to 6 in the evening, when overseeing all the last minute details, Bani finally left for her own room to get dressed. The Cars were to leave in another hour or so and a lot of running around was being done downstairs, but everything had been more or less wrapped up. Karuna and Tarun were to accompany Nachiket in one of the Cars and Jai and Bani were to come in another. Nachiket had causally expressed that he was feeling extremely anxious and was having pre-marriage jitters, taking opportunity of the situation, Jai had smoothly told Karuna to sooth him down, being a woman and his sister and hence ladled the groom with his sister and brother-in-law and had told everyone that he and Bani would be arriving in a separate Car.
Draped in a luscious georgette sari in wine color, her smooth slender back exposed by the inter-twining of thin golden threads that held her short-sleeved choli. Her curves filled the Sari with such beauty, that it seemed she was made to be dressed in clothes like these forever. Her hip-length, jet black hair was coiled around and tied low at the nape of her neck and bedecked with sweet smelling jasmine flowers. Bani fingered the Thewa jewelry set that had been a present from Jai, on their first wedding anniversary. It was an exquisite piece - rubies, emeralds and pearls set against the dazzling brilliance of a thick gold necklace. The matching earrings hung low on her ear, weighing them down with their collective gems. Her neck was all but covered when she had put on the necklace and she felt the weight of her heavy jewel encrusted bangles against the slimness of her wrists, when she lifted them to put vermillion in her forehead.
Her hand stopped midway when she caught Jai’s reflection in the mirror. Her breath was lodged in her throat. He looked absolutely divine, dressed in an all-black, tradition band gala ensemble. A V-shaped black shirt, over which a knee length Nehru style coat in midnight black hung empirically on his strong, broad body. Straight black trousers fitted his long legs perfectly and his hair was pushed back with force, making them curl wildly at their ends. And even at a distance of at least 10 meters, she could feel the heat emanating from him, which gave her a slight shiver.
‘Stunned?’ his face said nothing, but his eyes held mischief.
Blushing profusely at the realization that she was staring so intently at Jai, she averted her gaze and floundered with her vermillion box.
‘Let me.’ Jai was always economical with his words, but every gesture, every look, every touch expressed all that he meant. Taking a pinch of vermillion from the box, he put it gently through her forehead, suddenly illuminating her beautiful face hundred times more.
Gazing intently at her moon-like face, he said, in a wistful whisper, ‘Does this come naturally to you or are you doing it deliberately to tease me?’
‘What?’ asked Bani, sweat breaking between her shapely brows and her voice barely coming out of her throat.
Holding her face by the tip of her chin, he spoke sensuously, ‘Looking so beautiful, that I am left with no other option.’
Patches of red appeared in both her cheeks and making a very desperate show of smoothing the pleats of her Sari, she hastily stood up and said, ‘I…we need to go down now…its time to leave, I think…’
He did not let his gaze off her face, making her fumble badly and said in a cool manner, ‘Everyone has left.’
She stared at him shocked, speechless for a while and then finding some voice said, ‘But…How…Aren’t we supposed to leave with them?’
‘Yes, we are…and we will reach there before they do.’
Bani stared dumbly, not understanding and yet a familiar feeling creeping down her heart. Garnering some courage, she let out a feeble smile and said, ‘Not now…really, this is very wrong…we have to leave for the wedding…how could you let them go without us?’
Smiling faintly, Jai stroked his chin, revealing a carelessly unshaven jaw line, the way he always kept it and said, ‘You ask too many questions…for which I don’t have the time to answer.’
The kiss was a frantic, teeth-clashing grind. Trying to do too much at once he pulled at her hair, tugged at her Sari, kissed her too hard, then tore off his shirt.
‘Wait, wait, wait.’ Looking exhausted, he laid his naked back against the door.
‘What?’ she mumbled, numbed by the sight of his hard polished chest.
‘Let’s start this again.’ He reached and pulled her to him with delicate tenderness. She buried her face in his chest. The special Jai smell. Forgotten, but remembered with such stupefying sense-filling impact. Peppery, sweet-spicy, and something unique and indescribable that didn’t come from soap or a bottle or from his clothes. A smell that was just him.
His familiarity brought tears to her eyes.
With unbearable fragility he placed a fluttery kiss on the corner of her mouth. As if it was the first time. Then another butterfly kiss. And another. Moving inwards slowly, creating pleasure that was almost indistinguishable from pain.
Not moving, barely breathing, she let him administer kisses.
The kisses moved from her mouth to her neck, her hairline. Her eyes closed, she groaned with pleasure. She could die now, she really could. She heard him whisper, his breath hot on her ear, ‘You’re gone, baby.’
Like a sleepwalker, she was led to the bed. Obediently she stretched out her arms for her clothes to be slipped out. The smooth, cool sheets poured across the bare skin of her back. Her whole body was quivering, but she lay without moving. When he grazed the tender skin on the base of her neck with his mouth, she jerked as if she’d had an electric shock. How could she have forgotten how sensational this was?
The kisses moved downwards, even downwards. He placed a tiny kiss on her stomach, so gently it barely lifted the downy little hairs, but it flooded her with swollen sensation.
When they had made love, a great peace settled. She exhaled long and clean, all tension fleeing. For a second she savored her absence of doubts, agitation and insecurities until he begin to smother her with hot, wet kisses all over again. She intended to enjoy this. She knew she would.
Afterwards she wept.
‘Why are you crying, Bani?’ He cradled her to him.
She sniffed her red nose and said unconvincingly, ‘It’s so wrong…my brother-in-law is getting married and here we are…this is so wrong.’
Jai put his head back on the pillow and roared with laughter. His voice was deep and vibrant and chocolaty seductive.
‘What is so funny?’ she sniffed again, trying to get up and looking around for her clothes with reluctance, not wanting to leave the warmth of the bed or Jai’s body.
‘Its my brother’s wedding too…but look, am I crying?’ Taking in the expression on Bani’s face, he exploded into rancorous laughter again. Jai so rarely laughed loudly; that it kind of took Bani aback…he looked even bigger and more imposing now than he was already in his physical appearance.
Irritated and flustered, she took a pillow and started hitting him, in between laughter and annoyance, which only aggravated his humor further and he kept getting smothered by the pillow fight, till he pushed her down on the bed and looked down with a devilish twinkle in his eyes. ‘You…Promised not to fight with me anymore.’
‘When did I fight with you in the first place?’ she said, widening her eyes with innocence.
‘Excuse me?’ said Jai, totally ignoring the angelic look that she possessed during post-coital bliss, using it to manipulate Jai into agreeing with her.
‘I have never fought with you…I mean, never started a fight…only defended myself…’ she said mixing amusement with vehemence.
Jai exploded with laughter on this statement too and taking her into his arms, placed an affectionate kiss on her cheeks. ‘Okay, whatever you say.’
Smiling back at him shyly, she happened to glance at his watch and all but shrieked with horror. ‘Its past 8…everyone must be getting mad with worry…what will Nachiket say when he sees us coming late…get up…get up…’ Bani snatched her badly rumpled sari from under Jai and frantically set about collecting the various pieces of jewelry that was scattered about on the bed.
Jai watched her going bonkers as she always did, draping a bed sheet over her body with great modesty, amusing him thoroughly.
‘Why the hell are you so shy, Bani? What is about you that I haven’t seen that you are trying to hide?’
Striving to appear furious at his ill-timed innuendoes, all that Bani could say was, ‘Very funny’ for which Jai beat a retort by saying, ‘Improve your vocabulary or just keep quiet.’ She had the last word anyway, when she threw two bouncy pillows right onto his face, making him guffaw with explosive laughter.
Bani finally sauntered into the bathroom, appearing suitably composed when she came out, thanking her stars that her Sari looked just as before after it had been draped over her again, with only a few signs of it being crushed mercilessly minutes ago.
Bani was shocked to see Jai fully dressed and giving final touches to his hair, when he turned to look at her and said smoothly, ‘Shall we go? We have exactly 20 minutes to reach the venue before the others land there.’
Noiselessly nodding her head, she pinned some fresh flowers to her hair, pushing an errant curl behind her ears, which looked furiously red and swollen.
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Driving like a madman and in a way that Bani had never even imagined Jai to drive, they reached the wedding venue exactly five minutes before everyone else arrived and were actually standing near their Mercedes, smiling warmly at the wedding party as they arrived in droves, taking a bewildered Nachiket into a bear hug and saying, 'Your Bhabhi says that you might think wrong of us...is it so?' Bani went crimson in the face as Jai turned to look at her and winking wickedly, assured Nachiket that he was just on a joke with his wife over a bet they had.
Later, looking incredulous and shaken because of the Michael Schumacher style of driving, she whispered into his ears in a thoroughly annoyed voice, ‘What if we had been killed in an accident?’
With an extremely serious expression, Jai leaned back and whispered in the same tenor into Bani’s ears, ‘(a) Nachiket would have cursed me for getting his marriage cancelled. (b) your mother would have come hunting us both even up there for messing up with her daughter’s life (c) we would have been truly together…in life as in death and (d) We would have probably both landed in hell, because of our last deed before our deaths!’
She stared at him for sometime before they both broke out laughing loudly and Bani kept giggling all through the wedding, much to Karuna’s curiosity and Jai’s amusement.
The wedding was a grand affair, much lavish and extravagant than Jai and Bani’s wedding had been. All the guests had left and only the immediate families on both sides were left, having their dinner, before Purva was to be sent off by her parents’ with the Walia’s. The newly weds were to arrive at Walia House, even though Nachiket no longer lived there, it was home for them.
A lot of joking and laughter went around, as everyone intermingled and celebrated the coming together of not just two individuals but also two families.
Karuna joked with Jai, ‘Bhaiyya…you have to give this one to Nachiket. Your wedding was very a sober affair as compared to his.’ And then addressing everyone, she continued, ‘Bhaiyya had actually wanted a court wedding, but Bhabhi’s mother threatened boycott and he finally agreed to have a family wedding…we were barely 100 people in attendance. Bhabhi’s family still hasn’t forgiven Bhaiyya for this!’
Everyone laughed and with a tilt of his head, Jai retorted back, ‘Maybe, I had an ordinary wedding…but I can assure you that I have had an extraordinary marriage…and it’s up to Nachiket to make as much a success of his marriage as he has done of his wedding.’
A thunderous applause broke amongst the assembled, till Bani blushed with pride and caught Jai’s eyes in the crowd and they silently looked at one another, till their eyes both sparkled with tears. Jai shrugged his head and started talking to Purva’s father, in a bid to avoid getting any more emotional. Bani did not feel any need of such pretensions sobbed uninhibitedly. No one asked her questions, naturally assuming that she was getting extremely emotional at the occasion of her brother-in-law’s wedding.
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Epilogue:
It’s like catching lightening; the chances of finding…someone like you!
Bani brewed a fresh cup of coffee and pouring it into Jai’s favorite Starbucks Mug, proceeded towards their bedroom. The clock had chimed ten in the morning and Bani decided there was no way Jai was going to wake up on his own unless she got up to the job. Karuna had called up earlier and informed that they would be coming over for breakfast along with the newly weds, Nachiket and Purva, who had been married for a little over 6 months now. Since it was just 2 days to Diwali, there was a lot of coming and going between all the families. Bani’s elder brother Aparajit along with his wife Pallavi and their two children had also visited Jai and Bani, whereby very cold vibes had been exchanged between the two men, while Bani and Pallavi tried their best to play peacemakers.
Opening the door, she saw sunlight filtering through the muslin curtains and falling directly on the bed, where Jai was sprawled, deep in sleep. Keeping the Coffee on the side table, she ruffled his hair gently and shook him up a bit. He didn’t even move from his position as he normally did, whenever she came in the morning to wake him up. Confused, she shook him harder, but he lay still on the bed, with his face down on the pillow.
A cold fear crept her heart and with shaking hands, she kept her palm over Jai’s face, it was warm but still. Bani felt her heart missing a beat, as she shook him, now almost with frantic violence and turned him on his back, sweat breaking all over her face.
Only till he opened one eye and looking at her stunned, white face said, ‘I was just experimenting how well you can deal with a crisis, in case something does happen to me.’
Bani kept staring at him for sometime and then exploding in tears and anger, hit him hard on his bare chest, evoking a scream from him. ‘Owww…Bani, that pains. Bloody hell….Ouch…It was a joke…Listen….Stop this…I might actually end up dying.’
‘You…You…I…I am not talking to you.’ Spluttering on her words and choking because of her tears and rage, she looked here and there to see if there was something reasonably safe to hit Jai with, only till he quickly got up and holding both her hands, pulled her towards him on the bed.
‘Leave me.’ She said furiously, though laughter was just around the corner of her lips.
‘Ok, I will. But only after you tell me the secret of your wonderful strength. How come I spend 2 hours exercising everyday and its you end up having the strength of a sumo wrestler?’
Opening her mouth in incredulity, she said, ‘I look like a Sumo wrestler to you?’
Chuckling at her expression, he laid down comfortably on the pillow and said, ‘I didn’t say you looked like one…I said you have the strength of one. There’s a difference. But really, beating me up like this…and my family thinks that I have got a Cow for a wife.’
Looking even more shocked, Bani repeated, ‘You think I am a Cow?’
Exasperated, Jai said, ‘Did you wake up this morning with the intention of fighting with me?’
‘Did you wake up this morning with the intention of troubling me?’ And then catching on Jai’s look, she continued, ‘Actually that wouldn’t be surprising…since you wake up every morning with the same thought…’
‘What?’ he asked.
A warm smile spread over her face and coming forward to kiss him gently on his lips, she said, ‘To love me.’
‘Ummm…so why don’t we get started?’
Looking disbelieving, Bani said, ‘I have to just give you a finger and you are ready to grasp my hand…no way! Karuna called up….all of them are coming over for breakfast, should be here in the next 20 minutes, in which you have to drink your coffee, take a bath, get dressed and be down to greet them.’
Giving a mock-salute, Jai said, ‘Right there, Madam. Anything else?’
‘Yes.’
‘Please command.’
Bani gazed at him for sometime, a mysterious, gentle look on her face and she said softly, ‘I love you.’
Before she could get a reaction from him, Bani had got up and was inside the bathroom, getting all of Jai’s toiletries in order and then proceeded to take out his clothes.
They both heard some commotion coming from downstairs and rightfully deducted that Jai’s family must have arrived, since Anu’s voice was coming the loudest, asking for Bani.
‘Please go, before that hurricane comes up searching for you.’
Bani laughed in response and said, ‘She is much better now…what with a sibling on its way….’ There was a slight wistfulness in Bani’s voice, but Jai could also see the genuine happiness she had for Karuna’s second pregnancy.
‘Yup…now there will be two to torture us…actually torture me…seriously Bani, we should think about moving to our farmhouse in Alibaugh and I can put up a notice, ‘Karuna and Tarun’s current and future offspring’s not allowed.’
Bani burst out laughing merrily and ruffling his badly rumpled hair some more, urged him to go and get ready.
Standing near the door of the washroom, Jai turned his head to look at Bani, who was straightening the bed with her usual efficiency and fastidiousness. He stood there for a while, and then in a slightly subdued tone said, ‘Bani…are you sure about the adoption thing?’
Completely taken aback at the unexpected question, she stood thunderstruck for a while and then moved to look at Jai.
They had discussed adoption lately, but Bani felt herself mentally unprepared to accept someone else’s child into her fold. It was not due to any prejudice that she had, but simply the insecurity of a woman who is not sure of giving all her love and care to a child that she had not borne. Adoption was a very difficult choice and also a very responsible one, Bani wanted to be completely sure of herself and also of Jai’s willingness to it, before deciding to bring a child into their lives.
Slumping a bit, overcome by the feeling of something lacking in her life and the confusion and trepidation in her mind, she answered back, ‘I don’t know…I am still not sure…maybe some day…’
Jai stood silently for sometime, while they both listened to Anu’s yelling coming from the living room downstairs and suddenly they both broke into a smile.
Jai said jokingly, ‘frankly, if children grow up to be like the specimen downstairs…I rather think myself safe without one.’ Bani gave a slight smile back and answered, ‘You are just saying that to cheer me up…you love Anu and I know you would have loved our child even more….’
Jai gazed at her face lovingly and replied back in a soft tone, ‘But never as much as I have loved you Bani…the child that could be ours is still a future possibility…you were my past…you are my present…and I know you will be my future…and I am eternally thankful to God for the gift of love that he has given me…so much that I refuse to even question him on what he hasn’t given to me….’
Breaking down uninhibitedly into a warm stream of tears, she buried her face in his chest and got hugged by him tightly.
Just then they heard light footsteps outside their room, it was Anu, her squeaky shoes making enough noise to disturb the dead. Unentangling himself from Bani, he rushed inside the bathroom, but not before addressing his wife, ‘If Anu asks for me, please tell her that I have taken permanent aboard in Mars and am not expected back for a few years….and tell her that girls are not allowed there, but she can got to Venus if she wants to. For one, I won’t mind her disappearance.’
Laughter filled the room, as Jai locked the bathroom door safely from inside, when Anu came prancing in to be scooped up in a delighted manner by Bani in her arms.
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